stick his tongue in the 16yo mouth.
I'm physically ill about this.
My ds has been going to the same home daycare provider for about 1.5 years. L has a 16yo boy and a 9yo boy. Well, about 6mos ago, ds1 (3.5yo) came to dh and told him that 16yo gave ds1 "puppy dog kisses". (After asking ds1 more about this he demostrated WHAT a puppy dog kiss was - licking on the face). So, I asked L about it and she talked to 16yo and he said that he showed ds1 their puppy and explained to ds1 that dog give "puppy dog kisses", but that he did NOT demonstrate it to ds1.
Well, on Wednesday night, ds1 and I were sitting together being silly about how stinky ds's breathe was (he had garlic containing food for dinner
) and all of the sudden he said "16yo told me I had to stick my tongue in his mouth if I wanted to go downstairs to play." (L has a finished basement for the bigger kids to go down and play when her assistant is on-duty or her 16yo apparently.) I then asked ds1, "oh, did 16yo show you how to do that." he answered "yes" and then demonstrated for me.
Then ds1 said "are you mad?" to which I answered, no baby, I'm not. Then, ds1 asked if it was bad. I explained that 16yo is a "big boy" and HE should know not to do that to little boys. I then went on to tell ds1 that he shouldn't let 16yo do that anymore and say "NO, I'll tell (per the Protecting the Gift book" and go find L or her assistant.
Well, after ds went to bed on Wednesday night, dh and I decided that we will not allow our boys to go back there again. Period.
So, HOW CAN I BROACH THIS SUBJECT WITH HER? Obviously this is the 2nd incident, so I don't feel like my ds1 is making this up. I really don't. Now, I understand that L might not believe my ds, but I want to approach this in a gentle, non-judemental way. L is a FANTASTIC caregiver and her ds quite possibly is ruining her livelihood. (she is a single mom.) So, how would you talk with her?
ETA - I will be contacting the authorities, but I need to know HOW to approach L in the meantime.
-----------------------------------------
So I talked with L again on Saturday and she recalled a conversation in which she was explaining to ds1 and another daycare kid about "we cannot kiss babies on their mouths because our mouths and tongues have germs". After L was done talking with them, 16yo was near ds1 and the other child and ds1 asked more about our mouths/tongues having germs.
So, part of me thinks this was innocent on both parts. But, we're erring on the side of caution and the boys aren't going back.
But, the 16yo also offered to take a lie detector test.
:
So, I really don't know what the whole story is, BUT after careful consideration, I'm not willing to make a report about this under these circumstances. This boy attends the school dh works for and he actually told L that maybe he should switch schools.
My ds has been going to the same home daycare provider for about 1.5 years. L has a 16yo boy and a 9yo boy. Well, about 6mos ago, ds1 (3.5yo) came to dh and told him that 16yo gave ds1 "puppy dog kisses". (After asking ds1 more about this he demostrated WHAT a puppy dog kiss was - licking on the face). So, I asked L about it and she talked to 16yo and he said that he showed ds1 their puppy and explained to ds1 that dog give "puppy dog kisses", but that he did NOT demonstrate it to ds1.
Well, on Wednesday night, ds1 and I were sitting together being silly about how stinky ds's breathe was (he had garlic containing food for dinner
Then ds1 said "are you mad?" to which I answered, no baby, I'm not. Then, ds1 asked if it was bad. I explained that 16yo is a "big boy" and HE should know not to do that to little boys. I then went on to tell ds1 that he shouldn't let 16yo do that anymore and say "NO, I'll tell (per the Protecting the Gift book" and go find L or her assistant.
Well, after ds went to bed on Wednesday night, dh and I decided that we will not allow our boys to go back there again. Period.
So, HOW CAN I BROACH THIS SUBJECT WITH HER? Obviously this is the 2nd incident, so I don't feel like my ds1 is making this up. I really don't. Now, I understand that L might not believe my ds, but I want to approach this in a gentle, non-judemental way. L is a FANTASTIC caregiver and her ds quite possibly is ruining her livelihood. (she is a single mom.) So, how would you talk with her?
ETA - I will be contacting the authorities, but I need to know HOW to approach L in the meantime.
-----------------------------------------
So I talked with L again on Saturday and she recalled a conversation in which she was explaining to ds1 and another daycare kid about "we cannot kiss babies on their mouths because our mouths and tongues have germs". After L was done talking with them, 16yo was near ds1 and the other child and ds1 asked more about our mouths/tongues having germs.
So, part of me thinks this was innocent on both parts. But, we're erring on the side of caution and the boys aren't going back.
But, the 16yo also offered to take a lie detector test.
So, I really don't know what the whole story is, BUT after careful consideration, I'm not willing to make a report about this under these circumstances. This boy attends the school dh works for and he actually told L that maybe he should switch schools.