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TTC 6+ Months February Support Thread

23K views 727 replies 37 participants last post by  allisonrose 
#1 ·
TTC 6+ months
February
2007 Support Thread


Welcome to the support thread for those of us who've been trying for a little bit longer than the average bear.
The 6-12 month mark in TTC seems especially tough because it's been longer than a lot of people
but not quite long enough to qualify for the next level of treatment/approach.
(Note that some of us have been trying for 12+, but we're taking our time and sticking with this thread for a bit!)

We would love to talk with others who are at similar places in
their TTC journey. Please jump on in and introduce yourself!

"When the world says give up, hope whispers 'try one more time'."

:
: TTC for 6+ Months
:
:


Allisonrose -TTC #1 since 10/05 :
Angel1895 - TTC #2 since 2/06 :
Anonymousk - TTC #1 since 5/06 :
Blucactus - TTC #2 since 3/06
Bug2003 - TTC #3 since 5/06(?)
ChristyM26 - TTC #1 since 2/06 :
Coome - TTC #1 since 9/05
Crunchyandsweet - TTC #3 three years
Effie4lil1s - TTC #5 since ?
ELKMama - TTC #2 since 3/06 :
Fruitful4Him - TTC #2 since ?/? :
Greenegirl - TTC #1 since 5/06 :
GoodyTiptoesWish - TTC #2 since 1/06
Hezzy - TTC #1 since 11/05
Haw-k - TTC #4 since 4/06 :
Itybty - TTC #1 since 9/05 :
Jillybeans - TTC #2 since 6/06 :
Joygee - TTC #2 since 9/05
Kdlizmama - TTC #2 since 8/06
Kvan - TTC #2 since 8/05
LaLibertad - TTC #1 since 04/06 :
Mamamerle - TTC #2 since 8/06 :
martiniolive26 - TTC #1 since 5/06 :
Maybebabysoon - TTC #1 since 9/05
Mommy_in_chaos -TTC #2 since 3/06 :
~MoonGypsy~ - TTC #2 since 3/06
Mosquitobite - TTC #? since 7/05
Nic 1103 - TTC #1 since 10/05
Noorjahan - TTC #1 since 5/06
Oceanmommy - TTC #2 since 7/05 :
Pampered_mom - TTC #2 since 12/05 :
Punquin -TTC #1 since 8/05 :
SarahJen - TTC #1 since 1/06 :
Scheelimama - TTC #3 since 9/06
Selkat - TTC since 08/05
SereneBabe - TTC #2 since... ?
Susykat - TTC #1 since 05/06 :
Taradactyl3 - TTC #2 since 6/06 :
Tenk - TTC #5 since 04/06 :
ValarieR - TTC #1 since 12/05 :
Willowsmom - TTC #2 since 1/04 :

Graduates


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:
:

Jen&james - due 11/07 with #2 after 9 months of TTC!
Izzysmom - due 10/07 with #2 after 7 months of TTC!
natureOal-gal - due ? after two years TTC!
Danaalex - due 9/07 with #4 after 6 months TTC!
Stacymom - due 9/07 with #3 after 8 months TTC!
C_something - due 7/07 with #2 after 10 months TTC!
:
Racecar - due 7/07 with #2 after 13 months TTC!
:
HopesMom - due 7/07 with #3 and #4! after 10 months TTC!

Secretlytrying - due 6/07 with #3 after ? months TTC!
Txbikegrrl - due 6/07 with #1 after 5 months of TTC!

ChristineIndy - due 6/07

Wombatclay - due 6/07 with #2 after 8 months TTC!

Megnmama - due with #2 after 13 months TTC!

Willzmama - due 5/07 after a year TTC!

Chrissy - due 5/07 with #3 after 11 months of TTC!
:
Tarahsolazy - due 4/07 with #2 after 9 months of TTC!
Didkisa - due 3/07 with #1 after 7 months of TTC!
Paisley - due 3/07 with #2 after 9 months of TTC!

Arwyn - due 3/07 with #1 after a whole bunch of months of TTC!
:

:
: Bouncing Babes
:
:

none yet... check back soon!
 
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#102 ·
Oh this is so miserable. One second I think yes...this is it. The next second I think...oh darn I know it's not it. I'm obsessing more than I ever have before. I'm making myself miserable. I feel like something has got to change here. I almost want to test tomorrow just to know, but then I almost feel like I'd rather have a little hope left than a BFN and no AF yet. I'm just an emotional wreak and so confused about what I need and what it all means and what it is all about. UGH! Can anyone relate at all? I know I don't have anyone else really near me in my cycle (maybe Christy?) but seriously, have you ever felt like you were cracking up from the last day of the tww?

T
 
#103 ·
Tara
I can so relate to how you are feeling!! I'll give you some of your fabulous advice... take a bath, curl up with a good book do something that you love - in hopes of taking your mind off of it for awhile. Remember that your body knows what to do - breathe.

Jill I hope the opk is++
:
 
#104 ·
Tara: yes, i know exactly how you feel.
I agree with katherine, take a bath and relax.


I think it was +. Cause I took another five hours later and it was quite a bit fainter. Which means I caught the end of the surge. I've never had such a quick surge. If i'd taken an opk two hours later I never would have seen a +! I surged somewhere between yesterday at 6pm and today at 1pm. Wow. So I should be back in the dreaded 2ww soon.
 
#105 ·


Just wanted to let you all that I'm still here lurking around
: and pulling for everyone! I can't wait for some good news from all of you!

As for me, I'm almost nine weeks along, and doing pretty well. I've had a nasty time with morning sickness and exhaustion, but am hoping to see the end of that soon.

Good luck!
 
#106 ·
pray for patience.... my youngest bro and my sis have snow days... cause its SO FREAKING cold here....

ok.. so I lied... TODAY is cd 72... I made a boo boo when I was doing my chart yesterday... spotting still... and its starting to turn RED yay!!! no temp either.. I'm running on 3 hrs sleep....


I know I swore off caffiene... but today is the exception
 
#107 ·
Good morning


Just popping in quick to say hello and nothing is new
still - opk, actually I tried another one last night and it was completely white, not even the darkening line I had in the morning. I don't even know if I want to try another one today, I don't think my sad heart can take seeing another negative.

Tara hope you're hanging in there


Crystal I hope this cycle ends for you soon.

Jill looking forward to seeing your temp go up
:

I hope the rest of you are hanging in there
 
#108 ·
Good Monday Morning!

Crystal - Hope this is AF! Not something usually said on here.


Tara -
I hope you are starting to feel better.

Jilly - Hope this is O for you! Have fun!

Welcome Fruitful!

Sarahjen - Hope you O soon.


to all the Clomid ladies. But with all the dreams you have been having doesn't sound like you need my G rated hugs!!!

to everyone else! Hope you are all in a good place.

Not much going on here. I am on day 4 and AF is already over. It used to be at least 7 days but in the last year has become way shorter. Hope that isn't a problem.

I am starting a fast/detox today. I am hoping to last 3 days at the least. I have been wanting to do it for awhile. I figure now is good. I ordered a cd on Amazon, meditations for infertility. It looked interesting. Figured I would detox my thoughts as well. During this last year of ttc I put on 12 pounds. Over the last two months I took all that weight off and feel like the fasting and meditations are the last step to healing the toll the last year has taken on me. Wish me luck!
 
#109 ·
Haw-K What did you do to shake the 12 lbs? I've gained about 10 lbs in 8-10 months and I really really want it to come off. I'm struggling with how to make that happen tho.......any suggestions, besides the gym......with 3 kids a full time job and a hubby that's gone all day everyother day that's pretty impossible for me.

Hi everyone.........

Tara I'm sorry that your struggling with this, I do so hope you get your Oct baby girl!

Sarah I believe you'll O soon, your body is just trying to get in the right spot for it.

Crystal Sorry about Cd72.......may the blood be with you! ;-)

Ity, Lily, Ocean, Jilly and Christy How are things in clomid land? I'm fine, but really really glad that I'm done taking the pills for the cycle. I needed to be done with them. I think I might take a break for a month after this round if it doesn't work. Just from the clomid........but i'm still not sure.

Stacy Nice to see you, glad you and the bean are semi well (M/S can be such a tough thing). I'm sure there will be an end to it in the near future.

Tricia Wow, 18 weeks, that's so far (or at least it seems) are you going to find out the sex of the babies?

Susy I'm glad AF showed up finally, and here's to hoping this new cycle is a good one for you......HSG may be a good thing.

Elk How are things in the 2WW?

Ok, bye for now
 
#110 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenk View Post
Ity, Lily, Ocean, Jilly and Christy How are things in clomid land? I'm fine, but really really glad that I'm done taking the pills for the cycle. I needed to be done with them. I think I might take a break for a month after this round if it doesn't work. Just from the clomid........but i'm still not sure.

Tenk, I am feeling okay, yesterday and this morning I feel a lot of fullness and pressure again in my ovaries, making me feel a little more stressed that I need to get into action, so I started OPKs. I am much less focused on this right now and much more focused on thinking that I am going to have a baby and thinking about it and picturing it. That is something I actually tried NOT to do this whole time as it was too sad when it didn't happen. Maybe that was my problem (based on The Secret) so I am not going to chicken out this month. I am just going to keep thinking about my little baby that is going to be in my belly very soon.

Quote:

Originally Posted by haw-k View Post
I am starting a fast/detox today. I am hoping to last 3 days at the least. I have been wanting to do it for awhile. I figure now is good. I ordered a cd on Amazon, meditations for infertility. It looked interesting. Figured I would detox my thoughts as well. During this last year of ttc I put on 12 pounds. Over the last two months I took all that weight off and feel like the fasting and meditations are the last step to healing the toll the last year has taken on me. Wish me luck!

I don't want to say but if I happen to have to take a break after this cycle(even though as I said above, I am sure this cycle is the one), I am planning on fasting too. The most I have gotten to is eight days (very proud of that 8 days) so I may aim for that again.

Tara, all I can say is
and I know how you feel. I have sometimes felt so out of control at that time. I know that finding a good, positive, uplifting book and taking a walk helped me. What DPO are you?

Sarah, Oh how frustrating, taking all those tests. I can't wait to see a positive. Is the test you are taking a progesterone? I hope you O soon. It is too bad about having to start clomid because we know you are able to do this on your own. I hope O happens so that you can just avoid clomid if possible. If not, I am sure I would go for it myself.

Angel, please please please let the blood come!!!!!! I hope it happens today. I think your temp drop is going to allow for the blood to come today.
I am jealous of snow and cold, because here it is like summer and I sat outside beading getting a suntan yesterday!

Ocean, yay, we are kind of cycle buddies, but I just figure you are going to O very soon and I am going to O probably day 18 so then our buddiness kind of gets far apart! But I hope you O soon. Good luck is all I can say and I hope you're are still thinking your positive thoughts. I am picturing having a baby in my stomach, trying to picture and remember exactly how it felt and I am also spending a lot of time thinking about and "visualizing" my kids with my new baby, holding it and everything. It is getting me very excited.

Jillybeans, it was really exciting to see that positive OPK after checking out all our charts. Your timing is wonderful!!!

Susykat, that is a neat dream. I love having those dreams!

Stacymom! Hi! You lucky-duck. Can't wait for exhaustion and morning sickness! Yay! Give your little belly a rub and say hello to baby for me!

Fruitful, Hi, your chart looks good. I hope it happens for you.

See ya all later. Time to start the BD marathon.
 
#111 ·
I got my HSG changed to Thursday. The radiologist said day 7-10 so that will be day 7. Thanks so much Ocean!!!!

I'm going to be late for class
 
#112 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post


Just wanted to let you all that I'm still here lurking around
: and pulling for everyone! I can't wait for some good news from all of you!

As for me, I'm almost nine weeks along, and doing pretty well. I've had a nasty time with morning sickness and exhaustion, but am hoping to see the end of that soon.

Good luck!

well hey there preggers lady! good to hear your doing well...

I would love to have morning sickness


Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahJen View Post
Good morning


Just popping in quick to say hello and nothing is new
still - opk, actually I tried another one last night and it was completely white, not even the darkening line I had in the morning. I don't even know if I want to try another one today, I don't think my sad heart can take seeing another negative.
I wish I could help you in some way.. I dont even know what to say...

from what I've read though... opks can be a PITA
does that help?

Quote:

Originally Posted by haw-k View Post
I am starting a fast/detox today. I am hoping to last 3 days at the least. I have been wanting to do it for awhile. I figure now is good. I ordered a cd on Amazon, meditations for infertility. It looked interesting. Figured I would detox my thoughts as well. During this last year of ttc I put on 12 pounds. Over the last two months I took all that weight off and feel like the fasting and meditations are the last step to healing the toll the last year has taken on me. Wish me luck!

interesting concept.. I'm not sure I would last very long on a fast tho

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenk View Post
Crystal Sorry about Cd72.......may the blood be with you! ;-)


Quote:

Originally Posted by lilyflower View Post
Angel, please please please let the blood come!!!!!! I hope it happens today. I think your temp drop is going to allow for the blood to come today.

I am jealous of snow and cold, because here it is like summer and I sat outside beading getting a suntan yesterday!
I honestly think my temp drop is weather related... I had to switch our bedroom around last week.. and now our bed is next to the window (moved ds's bed to our room... so were semi-cosleeping now
.. dh couldnt stand ds jumping in our bed all the time when ds was supposed to be sleeping)... that and its been really cold in my house because I'm trying to save on heat...
I wish I had all your sun... I miss the sun
:

Quote:

Originally Posted by susykat View Post
I got my HSG changed to Thursday. The radiologist said day 7-10 so that will be day 7. Thanks so much Ocean!!!!

I'm going to be late for class

good for you katherine... I really hope this sheds some light on your situation
and are you ever on time for class


I so wanna call this cd1... I'm not sure I should yet.... sooooo close... lets hope in a few more hours I'll be sure
:

thank you for all the well wishes... I'm feeling so elated right now.. cause my body is working... yay!
 
#113 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Taradactyl3 View Post
Oh this is so miserable. One second I think yes...this is it. The next second I think...oh darn I know it's not it. I'm obsessing more than I ever have before. I'm making myself miserable. I feel like something has got to change here. I almost want to test tomorrow just to know, but then I almost feel like I'd rather have a little hope left than a BFN and no AF yet. I'm just an emotional wreak and so confused about what I need and what it all means and what it is all about. UGH! Can anyone relate at all? I know I don't have anyone else really near me in my cycle (maybe Christy?) but seriously, have you ever felt like you were cracking up from the last day of the tww?
YES!!! I'm such a crazed little nutter during that time. I feel totally insane, and I can't decipher between PMS and just plain cranky, and I want ice cream and I want wine and I wanna be pregnant, but I just cant wait ti find out so I make myself just crazy POAS-ing and looking at BFN's... I'm just not quite stable in the TWW - I'm alright in the beginning of it, but the farther into it I get the more the crazy thing shows itself. I know its bad when even my sweet-tempered, soft-spoken DH says somethin'.


Quote:

Originally Posted by jillybeans View Post
I think it was +. Cause I took another five hours later and it was quite a bit fainter. Which means I caught the end of the surge. I've never had such a quick surge. If i'd taken an opk two hours later I never would have seen a +! I surged somewhere between yesterday at 6pm and today at 1pm. Wow. So I should be back in the dreaded 2ww soon.

Wow! I might start adding in a later night POAS in addition to my usual 5-7pm-ish opk poas-ing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacymom View Post


Just wanted to let you all that I'm still here lurking around
: and pulling for everyone! I can't wait for some good news from all of you!

As for me, I'm almost nine weeks along, and doing pretty well. I've had a nasty time with morning sickness and exhaustion, but am hoping to see the end of that soon.

Good luck!

I'm glad you are feeling alright! We love to hear updates from our graduates here, feel free to pop in now and again to update us.


Quote:

Originally Posted by SarahJen View Post
Just popping in quick to say hello and nothing is new
still - opk, actually I tried another one last night and it was completely white, not even the darkening line I had in the morning. I don't even know if I want to try another one today, I don't think my sad heart can take seeing another negative.
Have you even had any OPK's that gave you 2 lines just as dark as the other? I counted one of those as a + a few months ago, because it went along with a temp shift and severe ovulation pain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by haw-k View Post
to all the Clomid ladies. But with all the dreams you have been having doesn't sound like you need my G rated hugs!!!

to everyone else! Hope you are all in a good place.
Belated welcomes to you Haw-k! I think I forgot to say hello when you originally popped up.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenk View Post
Haw-K What did you do to shake the 12 lbs? I've gained about 10 lbs in 8-10 months and I really really want it to come off. I'm struggling with how to make that happen tho.......any suggestions, besides the gym......with 3 kids a full time job and a hubby that's gone all day everyother day that's pretty impossible for me.
Oh - yes please share! I HATE the gym with a passion - I just do not have the patience to go to a gym daily and just walk on a treadmill or something. I get bored way to fast. That and its been about 12* here altely keeps me from walking outside too, so my butt is groooooooowing.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenk View Post
Haw-KIty, Lily, Ocean, Jilly and Christy How are things in clomid land? I'm fine, but really really glad that I'm done taking the pills for the cycle. I needed to be done with them. I think I might take a break for a month after this round if it doesn't work. Just from the clomid........but i'm still not sure.
Things are..... things I guess. CD9 - so I'm having nightly hot flashes, but beyond that, not much else. I'm just waitin for the egg to drop at this point. I just got off the phone with DH- he;s supposed to go talk to HR today about us seeing an RE - I think our insurance covers it, he doesnt. Before we go ahead and see someone, we want to make sure its covered. My OB tells me its a new CT state law, it has to be covered, but when I called the insurance company they said they dont cover ANYTHING beyond diagnosis.
: I want to clear that up before we wind up with huge bills.
 
#114 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by lilyflower View Post
Tenk, I am feeling okay, yesterday and this morning I feel a lot of fullness and pressure again in my ovaries, making me feel a little more stressed that I need to get into action, so I started OPKs. I am much less focused on this right now and much more focused on thinking that I am going to have a baby and thinking about it and picturing it. That is something I actually tried NOT to do this whole time as it was too sad when it didn't happen. Maybe that was my problem (based on The Secret) so I am not going to chicken out this month. I am just going to keep thinking about my little baby that is going to be in my belly very soon.
GOOD! I'm working very hard on positive thoughts too this month.
I have pictures and quotes and stuff pasted all over my house, and it's WORKING!
Let us know what the opk's say!


Quote:

Originally Posted by susykat View Post
I got my HSG changed to Thursday. The radiologist said day 7-10 so that will be day 7. Thanks so much Ocean!!!!
Good LUCK!

Quote:

Originally Posted by angel1895 View Post
I so wanna call this cd1... I'm not sure I should yet.... sooooo close... lets hope in a few more hours I'll be sure
:
: Go red go!


sarahjen So sorry about the stupid opks. Any chance last nights was just too diluted?


How is everyone this morning? My line last night(five hours after the maybe +) was very negative. I lined em up and this is what i got(pardon the bad pics)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...e/IMG_0791.jpg

So I'm hoping that it was indeed +, that i caught the end of the surge, and that I'll see a temp rise tomorrow.
:
 
#116 ·
Oh yes Jilly, I think that was it. Looks + to me.
:

Sarahjen - Hope those OPK's start getting darker for you pronto!

Kat - Hope that HSG works for you. I've heard lots of stories of it doing the trick for first timers.

Crystal - I hope we can call you CD1 this afternoon.
:

That's all I got for personals right now. I'm doing a little better today. Today is CD28 and 13dpo and AF is due today or tomorrow (I average about 28/29 day cycles). I don't feel preg but I'm not feeling AF coming yet either. My symptoms are little cramps, EMOTIONAL, acne, lots of creamy cm, and this morning I had bad gas (sorry tmi). Not sure what any of it means and I'm trying to not even think about it any more.

Yesterday I went to Joann's looking for beads and didn't find what I wanted. Today after Yoga class I went to a newish bead shop I'd never been too and they had what I wanted. The prices seemed high and the lady was less than helpful but I got three strands of nice beads. Now, I need a couple more supplies and I'll be beading for sure.

Tara
 
#117 ·
Stopping by to say hi. I'm at 5 DPO. Nothing going on. Waiting on hubby's SA results.

Acupuncture practitioner told me last week that she fully expects me to get preg within the next 2 months. I hope she's right. (Although in a sick way, it'd be really cool if we conceived in May and had the possibility of a Leap Day baby.)
 
#118 ·
Just wanted to say "Hi!" and let you know I lurk occassionally.

It seems like there's so much going on...

I'm starting my 6th month. I was sooo tired the first three I didn't get on these boards hardly at all. Since then, I do a lot of lurking but have a hard time keeping track of everthing. I've been blaming hormones.


Wishing everyone LOTS and LOTS of babydust!!!
 
#119 ·
Hi, some of you may remember me, I was in the 1-6 months group, but have been offline for a few months. I'm back now and still TTC. We've been trying since early September and this is my 6th cycle. I've only got a few more days until I'm officially late, but I'm feeling kind of crampy today and hormonal, so I have a feeling AF is just around the corner. Anyway, just wanted to get back into the swing of things on this board.
 
#120 ·
Happy Monday to all! Just trying to catch up and send good vibes to everyone.

Alisha - Welcome! Hope that you get the support you desire here and that you get to leave us for a ddc very quickly!

Txbikegirl (and all the grads) - Thanks so much for reminding us that it *can* and *does* work. All the best to you at this exciting time.

MIC - good to see you here. Hope you're doing well.

Allison - Hope the SA brings some good (or at least important) news.

Kat - Hope the HSG goes smoothly. Glad you were able to switch the appt!

Jill - Yeah for O!

SarahJen - Come on ovaries -- pop one out for her!

Crystal - Very exciting that af may finally be showing and then you can START A NEW CYCLE!

Tara - Your post was so exciting!!! I am hoping that af does not appear and instead you get some *wonderful* news very soon.
:
:
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:
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Lily - Glad you are imagining the baby and hope that this cycle is the one for you!

Ity - Hope the O time goes well and good luck on figuring out all the insurance issues. What a pain.

Haw-k - Take good care of yourself! I don't know enough to comment, but I hope this brings the health and well-being you desire.

Tenk - Thanks for asking. 2ww is fine. I had a little bit of brownish cm today... It made me hopeful! I plan to wait until next Monday or Tuesday to test (cd 30 or 31), though because we'll have company next weekend. I don't want to deal with the good or bad news while they are here. And how are YOU? Hope you're feeling good.
 
#121 ·

Hi 6 plussers! I haven't posted here in a while, but I got a lovely little note from Angel1985 reminding us graduates to come check in on you! (Probably no one here remembers me, but I started the thread last year and was the first to get pregnant - moral of the story: go start a new TTC thread!
) After what seemed like an eternity TTC, I'm now almost 36 weeks pregnant, meaning I am almost 'term' and am good to go for my homebirth anytime after Wednesday.


So, reflections from pregnancy after 6+ months TTC. They say everything in life is a journey. How true. I can clearly remember the frustration, anger, depression, and hurt of TTC. I remember the days when AF would arrive, the times when we didn't time our BD perfectly, and the huge emotional ups and downs and breath-holding of every LP. I hated that feeling of another month wasted. Every month I would figure out what my EDD would be if that cycle was finally it and I would of course start thinking of what our lives would be like with a baby born that month. It was almost as if I went through a mourning period with each AF, mourning the plans that weren't to be.

But fast forward a million years and now here I am, on the cusp of birthing a baby. And I have to say that for all the pain and disappointment of all those lost cycles, I honestly couldn't imagine going through this any other way. This little one inside me is exactly the right person at the right time, not only for our family, but for himself and his plans for this world too. And I know that when he arrives, that mythical August baby, the October baby that I really wanted, and so on won't matter at all. What we will have will be exactly what is right for us. The hurt of the whole TTC process is gone. In fact, I think having gone through the long wait to get here helps me appreciate each little thing more.

So that's what things are looking like on the other side of the fence for me. I do wish that this thread was empty and that all of you were enjoying the beautiful pregnancies that you have wanted for so long. I know how much the waiting sucks.


The only sage piece of advice that I have to give you all is to let go. Now I know this is easier said then done (especially maybe coming from a pregnant woman), but I really believe there is something to this. Look deep inside yourselves and try to pinpoint that one (or four) little thing that is holding you back. What is the source of your frustration within the whole TTC framework? Is it your age, the timing, the age difference between your kids, the loss of the way you envisioned this would go? Find that thing, work through your feelings about it, and let it go. But you have to let it go for real - not in a just saying so and trying to fool the universe into pitying you sort of way (doesn't work like that, trust me
). For me, I finally realized that I was really holding onto the idea of a little girl. I wanted a dd so badly that I had closed myself off to the option of accepting the spirit that wanted to come to us, whatever gender s/he wanted to be. And now look who is having a boy.


The cycle that I got pregnant was the first cycle where I was honestly ok with not having another kid. I found other things in my life that needed attention, things that I wanted to do for myself as my own person. I went out drinking all night, inhaled a ton of smoke, and ate a bunch of crappy food right before O - things I would never have done any other cycle and I enjoyed every second of it. We made love because we both wanted to instead of preforming the BD duty because FF said it was time. I let go fully and completely and then it happened.

Ok, I didn't realize this was turning into a novel!
I wish all of you the best of luck in your journeys. Remember to take the time to take care of yourselves. Clear a space in your heads where you think about something other than TTC that you enjoy and immerse yourselves in that. And know that your baby spirits are each trying to find you as much as you are trying to find them. It might not happen how or when you expected it to, but it will happen.



Oh, and PS - If the bfp list is going in chronological order, your should switch Arwyn and Didkisa. (I got mine first but waited for bloodwork before calling it and Arwyn called hers in the meantime.) And Willzmama is on your TTC list but she is 24 weeks and due in May! I think she stopped posting for a while and probably forgot to come back and update.
 
#122 ·
13dpo and cd28 and BFN

I couldn't help myself. I had a $tree test in the closet. I'm surprisingly ok. I totally knew it deep down. I just didn't feel it and my signs all pointed to wicked PMS. I'm excitedly looking forward to seeing the acupuncturist thursday. She said if AF showed up she could start me on some herbs to help out. Maybe I'll get into the Nov DDC with the rest of you. Otherwise I do feel angry and jealous and heartbroken and all of the other feelings I'm sure we all get each month.

Allisonrose - I bet it was nice to hear the acup say that about 2 months. My AP told me originally that it takes on average 3 months total to regulate the hormones through acupuncture. I had my first appointment right before O time this month so this next time will be my first full cycle with treatment. I've got
: for both of us.
 
#123 ·
Paisley, I just want to thank you for such a Wonderful post. Thanks! That was so thoughtful and nice and I really appreciate your thoughts on the subject. Really wonderful. That was a neat side note about the wanting a girl thing. Very neat.

Congratulations and good luck on your delivery, may it be fast and painless, or as close to that as possible.
 
#124 ·
Just another grad popping in. I'm so glad to see there are many more recent graduates!

Quote:

Originally Posted by paisley View Post
This little one inside me is exactly the right person at the right time, not only for our family, but for himself and his plans for this world too. And I know that when he arrives, that mythical August baby, the October baby that I really wanted, and so on won't matter at all. What we will have will be exactly what is right for us.
: The timing, as much as it wasn't what we'd originally planned for (or planned as a 2nd, 3rd, 10th choice...), is working out so unbelievably well, that, well, we couldn't have planned it this great.

I have so much I want to say, but I think Paisley said all I could and wanted to and don't have the words for. TTC (for a long time, anyway) sucks, but it was also an enjoyable part of the journey, in its own way. I almost miss temping (not enough to have kept it up for more than a couple weeks post-BFP, though!
). I don't miss the anxiety, the craziness, the hopelessness, the nutso short LPs, the days of temp crashes and bleeding starting. But I do very much appreciate being able to look back and remember the crazyintense longing and the determination and the, well, fun of trying, especially on those days when (remember, this is my first) I'm stuck in the "
We're going to have a WHAT? Why are we doing this? Are we insane???" phases.

I can't give advice on how to make it work - I don't know how it worked, although I know I didn't make it. It just happened, when it happened. All I did was open myself up to the possibility - again, and again, and again, and... And I know it sucks right now. And it may not stop sucking for a very long time. And I can't even say it all works out in the end. But I can say (quoting a dear friend of mine, who went through a hell I can't even imagine for her child) "When the world says give up, hope whispers 'try one more time'." I can't say it'll be worth it for you. But it was worth it for me.

s and
for all of you, a million billion times over.
 
#125 ·
tara: I'm so sorry hon!
What kind of herbs did the ap say she'd start you on?

Yes, paisley, thank you.
It was a nice thing to remember how it was when i got pg with dd. All the troubles and heartache were worth every second. As it will be this time.

eta: thanks to arwyn too, for the quote. I got all sappy and cried.
 
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