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What do you wish you would have known beforehand?

114K views 356 replies 270 participants last post by  sidrajedi 
#1 ·
This will be our first HB after 1 hospital birth. I feel like I am starting all over with this pregnancy and am starting to gear up for labor now. Is there anything about HB specifically that you wish you would have known beforehand? Logistically or otherwise? Anything that you wish you could have prepared first? Or wish you'd had on hand?

I know these are broad vague questions but maybe I'll edit if I can pin point what it is I'm getting at better.

I guess with my first hospital birth I wish someone would have told me to BRING my nursing pillow with me and to get some freaking lanolin! I was SO much more comfortable after I discovered those things at home. And my friend who just had a great HB with her 3rd told me she'd never give birth without a tub again so I rented an aquadoula
Are there any invaluable little things you had or did to your house to help? Anything you wouldn't be without?

TIA!
 
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#53 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by jlpolzin View Post
I wish I would have made it perfectly clear to my husband where the birthing supplies were and how they were to be used. Our birth ended up being unassisted, so it would have been helpful for him to know what a receiving blanket was used for and where to find it!
This was *exactly* my experience w/my 2nd homebirth!
 
#55 ·
-backlabor is really hard (i had 26 hours of it), but hypnobirthing meditations really helped me keep my focus and stay in control

-cant have too many chux pads. i had heard that sometimes you poop a little during the pushing phase, but i had no idea i would be pooping all over the place! thank goodness we had lots of chux pads all over the floor and the midwives kept changing them as they got dirty. they are also good to lay on for the first few days when underwear and pads are too painful.

- a squeeze bottle with the sitz bath herb water in it, stationed on the back of the toilet.

-arnica gel rubbed on the belly did wonders for afterpains.

-a pp doula was the best money i ever spent. you will want her there every day for the first week.

-5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed, 5 days around the bed. make sure you have enough help to make it happen. you deserve it!
 
#56 ·
arnica gel is great!!

be ready a couple weeks early. dd came about 5 days before I "knew" she would , lol, and my house was a wreck. nothing was where it needed to be.

emergen-c. yummy powder drink mix from the HFS. or juices or gatorade or whatever you like. have them ready in the fridge with a note that they are not for anyone but you!


I plan on having all the towels/baby blankets and stuff all washed and in a garbage bag in a plastic tub so all dh has to do is untie the bag and voila! fresh linens. same with birth kit. they will be kept in a known location with a list of things he might need to know.
 
#57 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Inca View Post
I wish I had known that it is completely possible to have a very speedy (90 minute) labor even if your first birth was a 50 hour marathon..

amen to that! my first and second HB's were completely different and that caught me off guard.
 
#58 ·
I wish i had of lied to people....called them like three days after. Caie was born at 12:27 am on the tues and my dad(which is a-ok) showed up at 3 o'clock that afternoon...a friend of ours we called to come over...but then people started coming and never stopped!!!! They figured since we were home they could all stop by
BOOK TIMES!! When people say oh I'll be over in the afternoon tell them NO!!! WHAT TIME WILL YOU BE OVER?????
My moms fam was coming over on the sat afternoon so I wanted the whole day to just relax then my mominlaw(we live with them) woke me up to say oh be prepared..the neighbors are coming over in the morning and brocks aunt uncle and cousinsin the afternoon!!! then my mom was comin with stepdad,step bro and sis!!
BOOK TIMES!!! Say listen let me know so i can nap shower relax!!!
That was the worst thing ever!!
 
#59 ·
Make a sign for your door. Our MW had one all printed up that said:

"At homebirths we mother the mother. Please do something helpful/useful while you are here. Sweep the floor, quietly do the dishes, wash a load of laundry, or take out the trash. But most importantly, limit your stay to 15 minutes."

I liked their sign, but we didn't want visitors for a week. We printed one that told the baby's stats and that the new family was resting and getting to know eachother. We also put a date so they'd know when we would accept visitors, and instructions to call first. Then we just didn't answer the door.


After 1 week we used the MW's sign.
 
#60 ·
This is not about the birth, but POST-birth. I only learned this from my midwife for my 5th child; wish I had known it for the other four!

For those first few days of meconium diapers--coat the baby's bottom with petroleum jelly at each diaper change. The meconium-tar slides right off!

 
#64 ·
Quote:
So, especially because it's not likely you'll have to use it, have a plan, and a hospital bag, ready!
I wish we had done that. And put a brush in the hospital bag. We did have the diaper bag packed with cute newborn stuff (because that was fun to prepare), and that helped.

We had someone there as a "go-fer," just there to help fetch and find things, a good friend I could trust to be low-key and just help. That was helpful when the only thing I consented to eat during labor was red jello.

It's good to have a nice rug to crawl around on. You might need to crawl.
 
#65 ·
Others have mentioned it already, but I lend my voice to the chorus: have someone take pictures, even if you think you don't want them now. You can always delete/destroy them later. I regret not having any photos of the birth. I thought it would be my weakest moment but in fact it was my strongest.
 
#66 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by musemor View Post
Others have mentioned it already, but I lend my voice to the chorus: have someone take pictures, even if you think you don't want them now. You can always delete/destroy them later. I regret not having any photos of the birth. I thought it would be my weakest moment but in fact it was my strongest.
I wish I had worn a bra in the pool--I'd love to show more people the pictures (like my dad), but most people don't want to see my boobs!
 
#67 ·
I wish I had asked dh to set the pool up earlier. Then end happened so fast I was in a pretty cold pool because we hadn't gotten enough hot water in it. I just had to get in no matter the temp.

I wish I had had it earlier to labor in.
 
#69 ·
I didn't have any tears after my marathon home birth and I pretty much attribute that to tons of olive oil and hot ginger compresses that the midwives used. And definitely the birth pool!!!! Made it all possible, that and a ball to sit on to open my pelvis. I'm glad that no one actually told me the truth as to how much it would hurt. It was the most horrendous unbelievale pain ever and pushing didn't make it any better. granted there was a sweet prize at the end, but I'm glad I didn't know ahead of time. I guarantee that if I'd been at a hospital for the birth, I'd have been begging for drugs!
: so good thing I was at home!

good luck
 
#70 ·
That too many people around me caused my labor to slow down immensly. This time, it's just dh and I and my mw's.
 
#73 ·
Can I add one?

I wish I'd known to have at least one peri bottle for every bathroom in the house! Perhaps even an extra one, just in case. And to be religious about refilling them when I was done. Because there's nothing worse than juggling a newborn and a peri bottle and a cold sink while you're doing the pee-pee dance two days after you've had a baby.
 
#75 ·
Have someone who is ready to cook a great meal afterwards (my SIL did this and it was wonderful).

All the supplies in one easy place and other people knowing what/where/etc. My dh and mom were great this way.
 
#76 ·
I dont ahve any words of wisdom, but I would emphasize something like having OJ on hand. I bled a lot when i had my son at home, and OJ kept me in reality. I dont like orange juice, but i bought osme for some weird reason, and i actually needed it...

This is a great thread.. and soooo makes me wanna get pregnant....
 
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