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Posts by CherylE

I may come back and do this - haven't been here forever - but my twin girls turned 8 this past week and I can't believe they are that old already! (I was here during their pregnancy adn afterwards a bit - read more than I posted here)   Happy birthday to your boys! :)
I don't. My older kids go to bed around the same time I do but aren't old enough to babysit. Can't afford sitters anyway plus the 1 girl that babysat occasionally for me, now has a real job. My family is all thousands of miles away as well. but I'm usually too exhausted. Plus with 5 kids 99.9% of the time - it's not like guys are even interested. Ex takes them occasionally but irregularly/no notice - not really enough time to plan. I'm hoping when they are all older - but...
I agree - neutral zones, mostly communicate via e-mail and mimimal contact. From a practical point of view - file for child support quick if you haven't already.
I'm also single mom to five kids - just wanted to give you (hugs) - I've got body issues myself after so many kids...hard to avoid. You are so, SO entitled to rant. I'm with the hope bad things happen to him for doing this to you and your/his five kids.
You've got a lot going on and it is hard. I lost everyone in my circle - well my ex was abusive and had done a good job of cutting off my support system in the years that preceded our separation and then it was all his work friends/his family/his old school friends and I'm having to start from scratch. It's so, so hard NOT having anyone IRL to actually talk to about this stuff. Divorcecare helped a lot - I found the church I'm now going to through that and am going to go...
Cheryl- 32 - single mom to five kids ages 4-8, my ex was violent with me and untreated bi-polar (maybe more...that was the tentative diagnosis but he won't go back).We were together 10 years, married 9 the week the divorce went through. I've been separated for 1.5 years now and divorced for 3 months. Fortunately he's paying child support and I'm in subsidized housing but lost child care (his parents) and couldn't find anything that would be worth my working even with...
well - it's not just about my "leaning on people" it's about them knowing my stbx first b/c he grew up here - not me and his public persona (like he "just isn't the abusive kind of person" mentality) and just us splitting - I found out people I THOUGHT were my friends actually weren't. I don't think I really "leaned" on people much - asked peopel a coupel times when I was super horrible sick to watch kids for Dr appoints or so I could go grocery shopping - people that...
Oh - I know knowing that others have it worse off - like starving babies in africa example - doesn't make what each of us is going through any EASIER. In fact - as of today I feel a little bad for going off....because I don't want Aura to feel bad at all (thank for the hug btw!) that wasn't my point. I just - well - do relate to the feeling all too well. We all get what we get and have to make do the best we can - just sometimes it is really hard. My ex was going in...
I get that a lot "do you have a good support system" or "well I hope you have a good support system". I usually say "no, I have no local family whatsoever, sole custody, their dad is not involved and no local close friends...I'm having to start all over trying to make new friinds and build a new support system". People go all "omg" and then vanish - no one has anything really to say there other than to tell me I SHOULD really work on getting a better support system....
Yes - I totally get you - in fact I'll be really honest that I'm feeling that TOWARDS you a tiny bit just b/c you only have 2 children and I've got five and no local family, sole custody, very rarely does the kids father take them (just as well b/c he was very abusive to me) and no local close friends/support system. He cut that off years ago and with FIVE kids, no one will invite me over or trade babysitting with me. Having only my twins while my older three in school...
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