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Posts by Smithie

We adopted our son a month before his ninth birthday. He wanted to keep his first name and we allowed that (obviously), even though it's objectively a pretty awful name. Changing his surname was non-negotiable, but he had been enthusiastic about that since the first month he was with us and his birthmother was very supportive of it, so no conflict there. We allowed him to pick his middle name (his birth middle name was an unwitting demonic reference, his birthmother...
Last big news of the year - 12/31 was the one-year anniversary of my son's adoption. I can't thank all of you enough for your help and support during our fostering journey!
I am so stinking happy for you. I really thought this whole saga was going to end with you and DH heartbroken and DSS having really sketchy parenting throughout his teenage years.
I have three kids born within two weeks of each other (in different years!) so I often say something like "we all enjoy books and board games!" which lets people know that they don't have to bring multiple gifts, AND means that the kids don't get a raft of plastic crap. Maybe have a themed party? Classic board games? Sandra Boynton? Harry Potter? Make sure the theme lends itself to affordable and widely available gifts, and go all-out in your party decor and refreshments,...
I was actually thinking of you the other day - "Hmmmm, I wonder what travel drama VM will be dealing with this holiday season?" I agree that it's not clear-cut that you guys would have to pay if it goes back to mediation - but it's a risk. I'd weigh the risk of wasting that time and money with the risk of time and money wasted if DSS messes up his transfer, and go from there. I don't think kidnapping is a serious risk for a child this age who is remaining inside an...
...my nearly 13 year old just told me last night that she doesn't want friends over because our house is not as clean as theirs.   Sounds like somebody needs a reality check. And a list of daily chores that must be completed BEFORE she goes over to her richer friends' house to hang out.     We can afford a cleaning service, and being a homeschooling family of six we generate quite the mess, but I have just switched to the chore-chart model because I don't like having...
Oh, absolutely, supervision. That would be necessary even if the man were a US Senator (maybe especially then - just kidding!). Nobody was suggesting that the OP leave her kids with a stranger - just that she give the stranger a chance to develop a relationship with them and earn their trust, or not, depending on how things develop. 
I don't mind it, but we're very honest about it. We know what we have and we know how it would be divided in a divorce. I can run the numbers and see that I'd be OK for a reasonable period while I got myself a job. If we had no assets and the loss of DH's income for whatever reason would put our house and grocery money in immediate jeopardy, I'd be much more worried. I assume that I would also be much more worried if divorce seemed possible, but so far it doesn't.
Honestly, I'd stop wrecking your weekends that way. Tell Nana she is welcome in your home and mean it, but stop dragging your kid out of the house like that. Let his "father" meet the legal criteria for abandonment in your jurisdiction and get his rights terminated so his real father (your husband) can adopt him. What if you died? Your husband needs to have the right to keep his son if biodad is this much of a nonentity.
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