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Posts by Smithie

Hey scruffy! I guess you've had your baby now! Congrats!   We have a blended-esque situation where some friends of the family are in the process of trying to adopt my son's much younger half-sibs. Our solution has been to give this couple the aunt/uncle designation, and cast all their kids as "cousins" of our kids. I think this is something that might work in a civil post-divorce situation. For sure, it seems hugely important to find a way to acknowledge the fact...
Frankly, I find it amazing that any non-custodial parent who has been through the hell of losing contact with their child after a divorce is ever willing to risk being that vulnerable again. I really, really empathize with your DH on that front. If he has never adopted, he probably feels that losing access to his child if he breaks up with you would be less  gut-wrenching if the child didn't share his DNA. He's wrong, of course - but it's a common assumption people...
Eloise, I just wanted to thank you for putting in the time and energy to post all that. Dietary issues with little ones are so tough. Help is so hard to find. 
     
Adjustment? What is this adjustment of which you speak?  I'm tempted to say something like "our son was born to be our son," but I don't say such things, because no child is born to be neglected and taken into foster care. It's more accurate to say "we did a lot of hard emotional work getting ready to adopt before we met our son, and he did a lot of hard emotional work getting ready to be adopted before he met us, so the transition was very easy as such things...
Ah. I did not realize that she only lived with her birthmother in early infancy. My son bounced in and out of care a bit, but he lived for years at a time with his Other Mother and was on-scene for the whole pregnancy and early infancy of his half-brothers. 
Colorado is one of four states that requires birthmothers and prospective adoptive parents to involve an agency in their adoption plan. You could probably find a fairly hands-off agency if that's what you wanted, particularly if you came to them with a prospective birthmother already identified. But no, you can't get out of paying the agency in Colorado, unless you go through the state agency, which is...
Well, you can hardly get more domestic-adoption focused than "Crow and Hawk." It's a Native American folktale 
Deborah, that sticks. I have three bios, and at a certain point in the fostering process I was ready to kill the next person who said "Oh, you can't have another?" Um, yes. I CAN have another. I might "have" him right now, in fact! AAAAARGH!!!   PUH, I concur with Katherine that bottlenursing can be a deeply bonding experience. Plus, your husband can be your full partner in it and get some of that early bonding that is usually reserved for mamas in our culture. 
That's a very good point. In my third pregnancy, I was already drinking raw milk and did not stop, and used the same farmer throughout. I would have been more hesitant to start up with raw dairy after becoming pregnant. 
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