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Posts by Swan3

Quote: Originally Posted by peaceful_mama No way. I have never been to a party of DH's friends where children were not welcome, including late-night (1-2 AM) wedding dances and stuff like that. I would think a lot of his friends just would not go. Us too. Yeah I kinda feel bad for him, I can see a lot of people just not going and he's really such a great guy. I've only met his fiance once and she also seems nice...I can also see how inviting...
Quote: Originally Posted by Ammaarah I've never heard of a no-kids rule at a Muslim wedding. It would shock my DH and his friends to death! I'm just trying to imagine all these families trying to scramble to find childcare, all of their childcare options have probably been invited too! For us, anyone I'd trust with my kids lives 45 minutes from us, and in the opposite direction of where we're going. It would be a baby screaming, bored, tired...
I guess this is why it caught my attention, it seemed odd. I understand that of course there would be variation, as in any other culture. As a Latina I can say though that I've never been to a wedding (where both in the couple were Latino) where children were not welcome, and had the impression from many of our Muslim friends that this would be the case for them also. Having met the bride (who is non-Muslim) at a family event, I got the feeling the "no kids" rule might...
In general, would it be considered odd for a wedding invitation to specify "no children under 16"? Are most Muslim weddings family affairs or does it really vary according to the family? We're curious because we're not going to be able to make the wedding with this stipulation (nursing baby, childcare not available for our older child)...
It was GREAT!!!! Totally at the guy for the beer thing. Ridiculous! I was relieved that race didn't seem to be a factor in getting defended but disappointed in how the teen was treated.
No lip kissing here...although DD1 keeps asking for it! For us it's also something that happens between people romantically. The other thing is, I especially don't want her kissing people outside of the family on the lips and this is just one of those boundaries I want her to be aware of as early as possible. I have relatives who have passed on cold sores to very little babies because of lip kissing and I want to avoid that...it just looks too painful!
My ILs are also racist, but the comments you've mentioned here don't seem racist to me. THey're kind of a statement of fact no? I have one light and one dark child and I've always known it's because of our "blood mixing" or I'll quote Forrest Gump "you never know what you're gonna git"...maybe I'm less sensitive in that regard. What does bother me is comments about races/cultures/religions that are generalizations, good OR bad. In our case, my ILs are xenophobes...and use...
All I can do is send hugs and say I relate. My family is all from El Salvador/Honduras and there are many many superstitions and bad advice...mind you there's some good stuff there too (two of my Great Aunts are nurses and one is a midwife). With my Mom, she will give advice and then call constantly to make sure I'm complying....I wish I had advice. Mostly I snap when I'm sick of it and she doesn't respect anything I do. I'll tell her specifically that we won't be feeding...
Haven't read all the replies but think that we need to respect others choices even if we don't like those choices. I'm reading Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and Dr Northrup also expresses frustration over women choosing c-sections as a matter of course. She goes on to ask if we can really blame them considering that we now live in a society where birth is considered a collective emergency and sold to women over years and years as scary. Maybe asking questions is where...
Quote: Originally Posted by proudmamanow Thanks for your perspective, Jenne. I find it really helpful. I really, really value family, and my role has normally been to support dp in building up her relationship with her family. MIL & I in particular have built up a good relationship over the years, that I feel can be restored. Just thinking on this and I wonder if it would be useful to talk to your MIL and tell her how this is affecting your DD...
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