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Posts by intentionalmama

Quote: Originally Posted by Rainbow2911 I come from a mixed race family and was lucky enough to never witness any racism as a child. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I realised that there really were racists around in this day and age! I want that for my kids. I want them to find it as incomprehensable and shocking as I did. Or even better - never realise that there are people like that around these days. I also come from a mixed race, but...
[QUOTE=Swan3;14012781] We're in a mixed marriage, I'm Latina and he 8th generation Canadian (Caucasian) and just tonight we were talking about how sick it makes me to hear how racist his folks are. It INFURIATES me. I have no qualms with addressing some slur made in front of my daughter to explain to her IN FRONT of them that this is not acceptable language or an acceptable attitude. My DH has actually asked me to bite my tongue...I will not. I'm not going to beat them...
[QUOTE=smeisnotapirate;14031294] For my parents, it was fear of looking bad in front of their friends. We were always told (by others) that we were the "perfect kids" .. I can really relate to the above. My parents always told me we were such good children; that they could take us anywhere and that people loved having us come over because we were so well behaved. I imagine it was because we would have gotten into trouble if we acted out. Later in life, teenage years,...
Quote: Originally Posted by julesdsm What odd things to your kids do? I really like this. I remember being here a Waldorf speaker talk about how kids have so many little quirks. And I think these little odd things make them quite interesting. My ds 6 loves to collect treasures (what most people would consider garbage). He is like a little crow. But the other day when him and dh were on a long bike ride, he found an old piece of rope which...
Quote: Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate subbing. ...from a family of shamers and have to constantly remind myself that it's ME who has the problem, not DS. I feel like I am beginning to understand why my family used shaming on us when we were growing up. I have really worked hard at trying not do this but, I caught myself doing it yesterday. My ds 6 and I were at a birthday party. After the party he started telling me how the other kids...
[QUOTE=Evan&Anna's_Mom;14009256]You aren't, of course, going to change their opinions on this. You realize this, yes? You know, I don't know. I guess part of me is hoping that they will soften somehow. I do believe that if I treat them in the way the emotional part of me wants to treat them that they will not change. I seriously hope they do change. There is always hope isn't there? But do I think it will be because of me? No, but hopefully I won't be an...
[QUOTE=spicyrock;14008859] And definitely, speak up at gatherings about how offensive you find their behavior to be! It was hard for me to do this with dp's family at first. But now that I feel I have a voice, events are much more comfortable. Yes, this will be hard for me; it will be a growth area that I need; but do not really want. Also, I've honestly done some good. Dp's mom is a lot less racist than she was when we started talking. She realizes now that she...
[QUOTE=nikkiethridge;14008701]Sigh, DH's family is like this. Not this bad, but they do use the 'N' word. They never actually said anything around him, but when DS was an infant MIL said something containing the N word over the phone. and I politely as I could told her, if she is going to use that word around DS then I can't have him around her. She doesn't say it anymore, not around me or DS. Thanks for your input. I don't know if I can be polite about this. My...
First I would like to thank each of you who responded to my post. I was actually still shaken up today by the whole ordeal. Reading your posts were very helpful. I realized I was/maybe still am struggling with two different reactions. One, the more emotional/animal part of me, wants them out of my life. I want to have nothing to do with them. This part of me disdains them. The other part of me believes that cutting people off because they have different views...
I am so angry, I cannot even think clearly. So I am hoping to find some clarity by writing and receiving any responses. Not long after we were married my dh and one his youngest sister (41) shared with me about their upbringing and how their family would use the "n" word and how their parents did not believe in the holocaust. This blew my mind and I was shocked as I had never seen any indication of this. Then when my ds was around 2 1/2 or 3 we were with dh's...
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