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Posts by Oh the Irony

Good. I am a sensitive person and know that well about myself. The implication though is that you are "overly sensitive" and becomes a way to deflect issues and make it your problem. If he is being insensitive it puts it off on you. Have you read Elaine Aron's work about sensitivity? Google "highly sensitive people" and do some reading to see if it fits you.    I'm glad you are keeping an eye on it. If you are an HSP, it may help you and possibly him to embrace the...
My son, who is now 7, went through an aggressive period from about ages 2-5. In his case, there was some obvious trauma where it made sense that he was doing that. Here's what worked for me:   1) Play therapy. He had a great playtherapist who also used EMDR. She was really cool and understood my parenting.    2) Feingold diet. It was challenging to do it as my son loves fruit and you have to cut out salicates (sp?).    3) I used the Nurtured Heart...
  I agree. It sounds like she did what she had to do to "get you" and then let the facade slip. Not to absolve you--it sounds like you started dating too early after the end of a relationship when it is easy to overlook red flags. Broken attracts broken.    What you will find with all of this is that there is so much grief that doesn't even involve the partner. That's normal. Either scenario (staying or leaving) creates things to grieve. You can grieve that you won't be a...
It sounds like a blender to me. What has he done to help his boys? What research and what work has he done? What is his parenting style??   I would be concerned that if he can't handle this on his own, then it will be ON YOU to take care. This doesn't sound like a good situation for you or your children at all.   Yes, it is easier in that there isn't tension with an ex which can really mess with step-family dynamics, but this doesn't sound like a good deal to...
There is really a grief process that will be happening here.   You had a plan, a vision, and it totally didn't work out the way you intended.   When my marriage ended, I was shocked by everything there was to grieve. It wasn't just the loss of the person. It was the family being together, it was our weekends, vacations, finances, retirement, etc.   So recognize the stages of grief as you go through them and realize it is not a linear path. This is a lot for...
Yeah, isn't it interesting how quickly some stuff can turn when you are really present with them.   You have been under a tremendous amount of stress. That makes it hard to parent the way you would like to. Then everything feeds on itself. He doesn't do something, you get irritated, frustrated and grumpy and then his behavior intensifies. And if he isn't getting the close intimate time in which you are REALLY present then he really feels that.   The more you can...
It's not really about being more strict from the start. He's figured out how to push your buttons and it gets him attention. He is getting you to dance for him. When you lose the calm centered place, he wins. He has control over mom.   I really suggest reading about the Nurtured Heart Approach by Howard Glasser. It's not a book I recommend to everyone but when you are stuck in power struggles it can be very helpful.   You need to start energizing the positive...
Thanks you all. Eepster, that's what I'm thinking--he may be trying to retract it and cause the bleeding. It happened again today though so I'm going to get it checked out.
My 6 year old son has seen a bit a blood coming out the tip of his uncircumsized penis. It has happened 3 times now spread over 2 weeks. The first time he noticed it in bed, the other times when urinating. It's not clear that it is tied to urination. It makes a couple of small dabs on a tissue.   He doesn't have any other signs of a urinary tract infection which is the only thing I saw when I googled.   Any thoughts on what it could be? I was kind of waiting to...
This new format is crazy. I try to do a space for new paragraph and I end up at the top of the post!   If I felt really drawn to initiate contact with a guy then I totally would. But for now I'm enjoying sitting back and letting the guy do a bit of work. It isn't for very long--just through like the first three dates or so. After that, if I didn't feel comfortable calling/emailing/texting when I felt like it then it wouldn't be right for me at all.
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