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Posts by Oh the Irony

Yes. If you qualify you should do it. If you make less than the requirements there is no screening for how you spend your money. You really don't sound excessive at all. The only thing I would have done differently is the 2008 used car with a payment--course I drive a '98 Honda and consider it reliable.   And your savings can't be that high if you qualify.   Get them, have a little breathing room, and see what you can come up with for long term. Sounds like you...
Flexible here. When he has more money or someone gives him hand  me downs then he has them at his house. If not then I pack some stuff and fortunately it normally makes it back right away. Occassionaly he forgets to send a coat or shoes back that we need but he lives close enough that he'll bring it by.        
Do you have a Belks? Around here they sometimes do a buy one get one so for about $45-50 you can get two place settings.
Get rid of the junk in the garage. Then get some sage and smudge the heck out of the house. Make sure and have some open windows and doors. Declutter some more. Smudge the heck out of it again. Do the furniture too.   I understand that it can feel really odd to "live in someone else's skin" which is what it felt like to me with one house I moved into.  And he may not have realized that before moving in but he needs to make the best of it until he can afford to do...
Things change. Yes, work on not taking it personally. I remember when one of my sons was all gaga over everything dad and it drove me a little crazy. It mellowed out over time. Just because it is like that now doesn't mean it always will be.   And yeah, because you moved out and his dad is presumably (?) in the family home that would perhaps make that feel more stable.   If you do move away, please don't put the choice on the child.   And maybe play therapy?...
It sounds like it could be grief to me. There are SO many things to grieve. Grief and stress. I don't remember your story. How long since divorce or separation? How many kids and how old?   I would suggest to start scaling back on kids activities. I find it grueling. It disrupts any attempt to normalize a schedule, interferes with homework, meals, and bedtime. When you have to keep going like that all day long every day it is exhausting and I find the routine and...
Tomorrow I have my first meet up with a guy in a year and a half. He seems really sweet and busy. Busy is good!   The benefit for me will be kind of a reality check and progress report. :lol  I've done the no dating work on myself thing again so interacting will help me see how well I've learned some lessons about boundaries. I hope there will be other benefits as well. That's what has probably dragged me out of my hiatus. :lol
I don't think it will come across as a lie. I think it is normal in early relationships to give a layer of info and gradually give more as you become closer. He doesn't deserve or need to know your whole history just because he asked.   In answer to your other question, I would think it strange if someone I was dating had never been in a relationship over 6 months. It would actually be a bit of a red flag. Not the marriage part--could care less about that. I'm...
  Normally when doing online dating there is a spot to put it on your profile. I'm still separated 4 years later so yeah, I've dated. Within the first year, I would say I dated before I was ready.   The reason for the judgement is that separated people are kind of notorious for a) being on the rebound b) going back to their ex or c) having a lot to process/drama from the separation/pending divorce.   Some guys actually love to date separated women. Figure it is not...
There's a couple different schools on this.   If you are a social person and regularly do things with friends then I think it is easier to do a casual introduction and do something fun together right away. It's just another person you are hanging out with. Social people aren't worried so much about a swinging door type thing because their kids are already exposed to lots of people--some once some multiple times.   If you are not social and you introduce early...
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