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Posts by septmommy

Oops, I meant to say that a different group is a GOOD idea, not a different idea :)  My friends and close family are aware of the situation.  I do worry that he may "snap", but I think he is too much of a coward to do anything so brazen as to hurt me.  I could be wrong, though, so I am being cautious.  I can't wait until this is all a distant memory!
It was very touching to read your story. I tried Alanon and didn't feel a good connection, but trying a different group is a different idea.  I will check out the book as well.  His anger is escalating as I stand my ground.  Yet, somehow I feel bad for him. Guilty about how sad he is to loose me. Until I was in a relationship like this I failed to realize the fact that even in abusive relationships there is good.  That good is what is used to pull you back, to make you...
Both posts give me hope....that I will get through this and that there is a chance of a future relationship with the girls.  I was able to tell them that my choice has nothing to do with them and that I love them very much.  I also stressed that it is not their job to keep his secrets and that if things are bad they should tell a trusted adult like a teacher. Child & Youth has been notified that there are issues, but the kids are very protective of both their parents and...
Thanks so much for your encouragement and support.  I would love to stay in contact with his kids, but I fear that would just put them in a weird place with their dad. My kids and I miss them already, but I know it's time to say goodbye and let them start adjusting to life the way it is now.  I know they hold onto hope that I will come back, which breaks my heart.  Feeling really strong today!  I know I can do this.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I agree with the notion that sex begins the cycle again. I have made a 100% commitment that I will not give in to that again. He has agreed to have the car transferred to his name on Thursday and if not I will just file a lost plate report and cancel the registration.  Once that is out of the way we will have no reason to communicate at all and hopefully each day will get better and better from there.
3.5 years ago my life was happy, sane, and normal other than an amicable divorce.  Then I met a man who has introduced such drama and dysfunction to my life that I don't even recognize myself anymore. "I" would never have gotten caught up in this. "I" would have been stronger and smarter.  But here I am and I have been sucked into the abuse cycle I used to pity other women for.   We met fresh out of divorces. He was the opposite of my ex in all ways...
Thanks for the BTDT perspective.  I can imagine how much better life will be once I go through this and am done with him.  
Yes, doing right by my kids is my greatest source of strength right now.  I know I can do this and I know they deserve a healthy example of love and respect. I have mountains of guilt for bringing this into their lives. I will keep reminding myself there is nothing I can do for him, but a whole world of goodness I can give to them.  Thanks for replying :)
3.5 years ago my life was happy, sane, and normal other than an amicable divorce.  Then I met a man who has introduced such drama and dysfunction to my life that I don't even recognize myself anymore. "I" would never have gotten caught up in this. "I" would have been stronger and smarter.  But here I am and I have been sucked into the abuse cycle I used to pity other women for.   We met fresh out of divorces. He was the opposite of my ex in all ways good and bad. ...
I'm so sorry for your pain. I was raised differently than you you, but with similar misgivings. When I became a mom it brought up a lot of hurt for the little girl I was. I love my kids so deeply and unconditionally, and having experienced that reality of parental love, I'm sad that no one ever loved me that way.
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