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Posts by SilverWillow

OP, just want to validate your concern. I would be devastated if this was my dad and my DD. There is just no need for her little brain to have to process that visual. Having said that, mom to mom -- it's just once and I think you can help them process and overcome it. You're just going to have to be very clear with your stepdad that you love him, but that you come from completely different viewpoints here and that you are the one who wins. You're Mom. My dad was...
I think some of it is hard-wired and developmental WRT to your DSD. I raised my DD, from birth, using Waldorf and Montessori principles. She was waterborn at home, BF for four years, fed organically. We hung around with only homeschoolers. She has a healthy weight now at age eight. AND she is obsessed with sugary treats, popular preteen stuff like High School Musical, the dreaded Hannah, hairstyles, clothes, and computer gaming. She acts "bratty" and unappreciative...
yep - have 50/50 and get very generous child support here too.
[QUOTE=Sancta;14020934]It is? It's rude to tell someone they have beautiful eyes? Or stunning hair? Or a gorgeous smile? Am I missing something? QUOTE] Getting any of the above comments from some random stranger would positively make my skin crawl. It would make me very uncomfortable, and I also think it's presumptuous. Yep, bad manners. Who asked you (not you you, the general you. LOL) what you thought of how I look?
50/50 working fine here, too. ex has DD Wednesday eves/overnights and Saturday noon through Monday morning. If something fun and kid-friendly is going on outside this schedule, we switch it up. If something fun/ unavoidable (such as being called in to work) comes up for one of the adults, we will very occasionally switch things up if it cannot be scheduled on a regular "off" night. The number of nights balances out to 50/50 over the long term, and DD is usually more...
Quote: Originally Posted by MusicianDad Erring on the side of not offending people is impossible. There are words that are universally incorrect, but for the most part sticking to one term will eventually offend someone whether they voice that or not. Some people would rather be hard of hearing, others would rather be deaf. Erring on the side of not offending people acknowleges that is is impossible to avoid offending people. That's why it's...
Quote: Originally Posted by RedOakMomma I DO base some of my decisions based on what others tell me they've experienced. If people tell me that term is hurtful to them, or if I hear it consistently and also read into the historical racism implied in the term, then yeah...I listen to their experience and I change my behavior. Exactly. It's common courtesy. This isn't directed at anyone in particular, but I find it interesting when (usually...
Quote: Originally Posted by Whistler Although "china doll" CAN mean that, it doesn't have to. I think of a china doll as one of those dolls with the curly hair, old-fashioned clothes and the face made of bisque china and the meaning when I have heard the phrase is "prissy and doesn't want to dirty her pretty clothes". Not sexual at all. As far as exotic, I suppose if you take offense at any variation in skin or hair tone, you might be offended. But...
hey, it's fine by me if individual people of color like the label exotic or aren't offended by it -- it's none of my business. however, expecting the views of one person of color to represent the views of ALL people of color is highly offensive. everyone's mileage may and will vary -- the point is, people of an empowered group should know and be sensitive to the fact that by using certain words they may be making a person very uncomfortable and perpetuating oppression.
white people might be considered "exotic" in certain situations or locations, but generally speaking they are grossly privileged for it -- people of color SUFFER for their uniqueness and don't have the luxury of finding it cute or amusing. just because someone uses it to mean attractive doesn't mean it isn't offensive or objectifying to the human being they are labeling.
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