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Posts by LROM

Since the doc already looked and didn't see anything obviously concerning, it sounds like it may very well be one of the PPs ideas: soap, self-exploration, some other irritant.   But I just wanted to chime in on one of the first PPs including abuse in the list even though it's unlikely.  OP you said it wasn't possible because she's not alone with anyone long enough for that to be an issue.  And I have no reason to doubt that that's true, but it still feels important...
Very VERY glad it worked out this way!  But I'm not suprised... I'm not suprised, because this is how it should have turned out and most of the time it either does turn out as it should, or CPS under-responds as opposed to over-responding.  In fact you got an average social worker, not an especially nice one.  Most of them act the way this one did.  We just hear about the few awful exceptions more than we hear about the good ones.   Either way, odds were way in your...
I hear you on how much this recurs for you as a hurt and unresolved pain.  This will probably sound impossible to do but I really believe it's what holds the most likely success for you re: your feelings around all this:  continue with your search while trying hard to also understand that at this stage, you are who you make yourself to be.  Your father, whoever he is/was, is only influencing your life in his absence at this stage.  Whoever he is and whatever you may come...
Inside Voice, I just wanna say that is SO AWFUL what happened to you.  I'm glad you realize how totally unusual that is.  There are bad, willfully harmful workers out there, as there are in any field.  It's just worse in CPS because they have the power to really mess up a situation.  But those are such incredibly UNUSUAL situations... my heart falls apart every time I hear of someone knowingly doing something so awful.  I'm just glad you were so wise and able to defend...
OP I agree with Meemee, you are great to be worried about how your kids are reacting to all this, but you're also totally freaking out and your kids are both hearing it in what you are saying and also *feeling* it in how you are acting.  I totally understand why this is so anxiety-inducing for you, but you would do yourself and your kids a favor to go back to the reality check of how CPS came to be involved, what your own worker is telling you about the concerns and why...
OP I also work for CPS and I'm really glad that so far you are having a not-negative experience with it!  I ditto that you really don't probably need to worry about much re: how clean your house is - CPS does NOT want to take kids from a stable, decent home.  It doesn't have to pass a white glove test, it just has to not be unsanitary or dangerous in any way.  Food in the fridge - you don't have to have anything special beyond what you usually have.  In this case CPS is...
Wow, I totally would not be offended/mad at parents doing what they think is best to deal with their child's behavior.  I don't see it at all as "punishing my kid", even though my kid may well be and has been disappointed by a change in plans.   I also take responsibility to know my kids' friends' parents patterns as best I can.  There are many who would only cancel if something serious was really up.  Then there are those who can't be bothered to be on time or call...
When you say she was never like this before, am I correct that the main life change that has occurred is the birth of your baby?  Is that when things really started to change (or shortly after), or was she changing before this?   If that is the turning point, I still agree that you should go get her evaluated, but I also think a PPs question about language is key.  What is she saying about how she feels?  Do you ask her when she hits a child what made her...
OP you've already gotten great advice, but I wanted to especially echo the PPs point about watching how you handle your own mistakes/whoopsies and even throwing some fun into it.  My dd is 2.5 and when I spill or DH spills she loudly points and laughs and says "You made a mess!  Daddy, mommy made a mess!" and I laugh with it and model how I want her to handle it, I say "Yup, I did, so now I'm going to clean it up!" and other than that it isn't a big deal.   Bigger...
Totally just went through this about 5 months ago, and actually am still registered at Care.com because I want to find a good back up sitter in case our new main one doesn't work.   I found that you really need to think about what's most important for YOUR peace of mind - what things are you most worried about?  Find ways to ask them about it.  I also found it VERY interesting to watch them respond to my dd.  The sitter we ended up liking best and using was one of...
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