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Posts by missgranger

Thank you, everyone. I just needed to hear from others not involved in the situation to see if my reaction was normal or seemed overly paranoid.   Speaking of Skype, he was talking to the kids yesterday and kept asking if they wanted to come see him and then would follow up with, "well, talk to Mommy," making me the bad guy when I say "No."   Again, I just want to thank everyone for the support and good advice over the past couple of years. You're a wonderful...
  When you see things like this in black and white, you wonder how your judgment could ever lapse that much. That's why I don't trust my instincts about him or anything involving him at this point.
Some answers to some of your questions:   1) Why not Canada? He tried to go to Canada a couple years ago (without a visa, thinking he didn't need one), was arrested and deported back to his home country. So, unfortunately, that doesn't seem like a likely option.   2) His visa status. He was arrested for DUIs and forging prescriptions in the U.S. when he lived here. I suspect that is why he was refused a visa, but he won't tell me the specific reason he was turned...
    This is exactly what I would say. Memee's advice about the day-to-care of your child and finding the calmness is also really what got me through. Once I decided not to let him have the power over me, it really changed the dynamic. He still tries to threaten, beg, wheedle, whatever, but I just don't respond. I keep records of it all, but I don't respond to the emotional things he says. It's all strictly business as it relates to our children -- decisions about school,...
I am not really sure about him at all; that's the problem. He has problems with substance abuse and mental instability, which make me feel unsafe even though he's never done anything to me. However, he has talked about slapping a previous girlfriend and during our divorce proceedings I found out he'd been arrested for domestic violence with yet another woman. So? I just don't know how to judge the situation.   We were in his country for a few months prior to the...
It's been a very long time since I posted anything. You all have been so helpful over the past couple of years and I'm always amazed at the strength of the women here.   A little update: My divorce was finalized last spring and my ex husband is still in the Middle East and can't get a visa to the U.S. The judge gave me custody and him visitation with reasonable notice and he is not allowed to take them out of the U.S.   He's finally realized that I am not going...
This is a fairly typical response, from what I've seen. I don't understand how some people think. I would hope that if my situation were reversed and my children were living with their father that I would do right by them and pay for their support. My ex has told me he will never pay child support because the judge has said he cannot take the children out of the state and he happens to live outside the U.S. and cannot get a visa back to the U.S. due to his past...
From what I can tell, they don't do much with the information. My ex doesn't live in the U.S. at all though, so maybe that's why they haven't done much. They do require you to register with the child support services, but again, not much has been done. (My ex did say he received a notice about child support, but doesn't intend to pay it; hopefully, that means he also doesn't intend to return to the U.S.). Don't feel guilty or bad about giving information on your ex...
Mama Soletera, I could have written your original post. I don't have advice but offer up hugs and "you're not alone." It will get better. It will. It must. We'll make it.
It is rough no matter how you slice it. I have two kids, and I work full time and go to school full time and we're way below the poverty level. I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel and remind myself that within a year, I'll be finished with school and have better job opportunities (hopefully the economy will pick up a bit by then). If you have family and friends who offer to help, take them up on it. I don't really have a support system, so things are...
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