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Posts by spajak

Here is a link to a current thread that covers all of this. My advice is to just go for it! Every word you speak in Spanish, every song you listen to and sing to in the car, every positive vibe you attach to the language, adds up and helps produce language. Have fun! http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1104654 P.S. Don't listen to all those rules (OPOL) and studies--my kids are living proof that you can have fun, mix it all up, and have biligualism (and at...
One thing that has to be clarified in this type of discussion is who is doing the code-switching: the parent, the child, or the community. If a child grows up in a Spanglish community, for example, then, in effect, that is a "language" and he will have trouble distinguishing English and Spanish because he has heard and received positive feedback on his usage. If a mother throws in a few Spanish words into a very well-established English foundation, this will only add to...
I agree that if the child never hears a word in the other language, then he won't learn it. However, in my experience, education, intuition, most kids eventually sort out which words belong to which language. In my opinion, the trade-off of having slightly delayed pure language use is totally worth the un-self-counsciousness that comes with not having had someone "reminding" you to speak a certain way.
I think that all of this is way overthought. Of course you can mix up the languages. Have fun with it. Throw in whatever you can. We have trilingual sentences at our house and the kids have no trouble using the appropriate language when needed. It's hard to comprehend just how good kids are at learning language.
Obviously something is going on here. You should try to figure it out. But in the meantime, don't create a second problem by putting your relationship in jeopardy. If you really care so little about others' opinions, you will have no trouble with the following advice: Let her wear whatever she wants. No matter how dirty, how many days in a row, etc. Then you will find the root of the problem. And absolutely do not take away her dresses.
Quote] but the reality is that the older sister was acting bad, too If you are using the word "bad" to describe your child or her behavior, it is a sign that you have a lot of work to do. There is a lot of anger in your posts. Miracles aren't going to happen overnight. Please do try to squeeze in the time to read Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn and Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort. Replace your computer time with reading time, and I think...
Amber lion, I'm glad you're getting your questions answered. I think talking through this is good for everyone! We're always learning. It sounds like you're on the right track! Alexsam, I agree with you on everything you wrote. Just today my 9mo took a step and I squealed with delight. It was pure and came from authentic joy (not hoping he would do it again). And even as I am tying this my 4yo is trying to push the power button. I have calmly made it clear that this is...
Quote: Originally Posted by lisad1 it's not necessarily the words but your intentions that you should watch out for. If you are praising specifically so that you can obtain the desired behaviour again in the future then it doesn't matter what you are saying - your motives are wrong. . I agree 100%. I've been waiting for someone to word this idea well. It's so hard to just let them be, but it's really, really important. My 4yo and 2yo cleaned up...
I stuggle with these same issues. I parented the first four years of ds's life with lots of "good jobs", so I had to retrain myself. I think that giving any kind of praise is rewarding. Although I think that if you are going to do it, specific praise is at least more useful. And I also believe that if it happens naturally, as if you just couldn't hold back your surprise and delight, it is a positive thing. I also think that if they ask for praise you should give it to...
I also recommend reading Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort.
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