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Posts by VocalMinority

My ex and I have maintained a great relationship - and it is very good for our kids.  So, there's hope.  It's definitely possible.  Over time, dumping the pressures of sharing a home, finances, a social life etc. allowed 90% of what made our relationship "rocky" to just fade away, leaving mostly good memories of when we were happy together, a sense of valuable history, and a mutual love for our children.  It has also made our families feel OK about continuing good...
#1 - Was he in jail because he was *convicted* of threatening your lives?  Or for some other reason?   #2 - Start by requesting an emergency protective order (i.e., one that's effective immediately, but as soon as they can give you a court date you'll have to show up and convince a judge you need to keep it).  If you can't afford an attorney to do this for you, do it yourself and ask for an income-based waiver of the court filing fee.   #3 - By "full custody", I assume...
"Go to sleep in your nursing bra, with a cabbage leaf spread out in each cup.  When you wake up, you'll no longer be engorged and in pain."   Silly as it sounded, it was TRUE.  (And you know I was miserable, to have tried something that I thought sounded so ridiculous.)
Skimming over other comments, I note you've been given some advice about not treating fevers.  It's true that treating children's fevers under ~105 is a cultural thing:  Americans have tended to do it, for several generations.  Europeans have not.  But I think there's somewhat universal concern over fevers that exceed 104, because it's rare for normal childhood illnesses to cause a fever higher than that.  So, at 104, you should be monitoring closely to make sure it's not...
If you are insightful enough about yourself, and concerned enough for your daughter, to be able to take responsibility for the fact that your behavior and instability are harming her...then it's hard to imagine that you could be such a bad parent that she'd be better off without you in her life at all.   I disagree that your husband is the cause of your problems.  If you let yourself look at it that way, then there is no hope of you getting better, unless he changes....
  I'm so sorry you're going through this!     Our family has struggled with similar - though not identical - details.  My husband's ex tried to alienate their son from him, moved away and then portrayed DH's frequent visits as "abuse"/"stalking".  In our case, my DH eventually got the right judge and was given sole custody.   I won't draw many parallels between my DSS's mom and your DH, because that wouldn't be very nice; and because it sounds like your DH has done...
If the parents don't agree, the first good place to start is usually the court orders and state law/guidelines.   Here, there's an emphasis on parenting time being more than just "a visit"; and that part of parenting is caring for sick kids (and dealing with it, if siblings catch the illness). Here, illness is not a legally acceptable excuse for one parent to unilaterally deny parenting time to the other.   That said, if one of my ex's other kids were sick enough to...
Yes, some people will always call you Mrs. Ex, if your children have his last name.   No, you don't have to explain to anyone, unless you want to.     I'm basically in your situation.  For people with whom I expect to have long-term relationships (neighbors, my kids' teachers, their friends' parents), I clarify what my last name is.  Of course - since it's different from my kids' - the assumption is that I'm divorced, even if I don't bother saying so.  Being divorced...
Here, each parent is expected to pay for the activities in which they choose to enroll the children - even private school. Of course, it's ideal if both parents care about what activities the kids want to do and can work it out between themselves, as to who can best afford to foot the bill.  But many times, the whole reason people are divorced is because they can't communicate.  If mediation has been successful for you guys before, it might be worth trying again.  Your ex...
My 3 teenage sons, the youngest of whom is 14, would all like to have TVs, computers and gaming systems in their bedrooms.   This is not meant to judge other moms reading this who think differently than me, but I don't find this appropriate.  Here's my reasoning:   I already feel that we (my husband and I) struggle to find balance between letting them be the "normal" kids they want to be (i.e., play video games like - and with - their friends; and spend time on social...
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