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Posts by VocalMinority

DSS's mom doesn't celebrate Christmas, but feels entitled (every other year) to either keep DSS from celebrating it with us; or to try trading/selling the holiday to DH.  Since August, she has laid the groundwork for this by promising DSS a Christmas ski trip in the mountains with a friend of hers, who lives there.   The truth is, her friend wants to spend the holiday with family, so Mom's and DSS's outbound flights for their ski trip were actually after Christmas....
The issue DH's atty thought would be trickiest was child support:   1- DSS's mom was ordered to "pay" it through the cost of visiting him here.  But she has never visited much; less each year; and not at all since last Labor Day.  (DSS does visit her 3x/year.)   2- It would be one thing, if she had no job or money.  (Although, when noncustodial dads get behind on child support while struggling with unemployment, we as a society have no sympathy for them.  Many...
I don't think it's appropriate for kids to sleep with their step-parents.  And a new boyfriend isn't a step-parent.  Your son isn't an infant who's unaware who he's sleeping with, beyond the mom who's breastfeeding him.  He's five.  You're behaving as though there's a level of intimacy between your son and your boyfriend that truly only exists between YOU and your boyfriend.
My 3 siblings and I grew up spending Christmases and sometimes summer vacations of a month or more around gun-friendly relatives.     My grandmother slept with a loaded pistol under her pillow (and actually shot an intruder with it, once).  I used to sleep next to her, during visits.  My parents can't possibly have known about that gun.  That was a bit over the top.     But my favorite uncles and aunts were all hunters.  There were plenty of guns in their houses...
I have twins on the Autism spectrum and know a number of kids, all over the spectrum.  I taught preschool for a number of years and had several students on the spectrum, plus most of my sons' friends are on the spectrum.   I'm not aware of any of them having anything that resembles an imaginary friend.   My neurotypical 4.5-year-old, on the other hand, had imaginary friends when he was 3 and they sounded no different than what you describe.  As far as he was...
Obscure, I think you are 100% on the right track.  It may not work for everyone, but how can what you've described possibly be bad for your kid?  Even if Christmas isn't as big a deal to your ex; if you make it a big deal to your son, how great if he can think of his father as part of that (even if your relationship with his father didn't work out)?   What you've said sounds a lot like me and my ex.  There are inevitably hurt feelings when you realize that someone...
Yes, you are, Findingstrength.   And your kids definitely are.   As I said, it's a family-by-family thing.  Do what's right for your kids and have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas.
I think this is a very family-by-family thing.  If there's a lot of conflict and the kids have to decompress, going from one family to the other, this would be a valid perspective.  If you have kids who get overwhelmed by changes and transitions, same.  If there is significant distance, it would be crummy for kids to spend hours of Christmas Day, traveling.   However, I have kids on the Autism spectrum (i.e., change and transition is not exactly easy).  Since preschool,...
I have always invited my ex over on Christmas morning.  If you think you can stomach that, why not extend the invitation?  If it's not a big deal to him, he can decline.  He may not have requested it because it never occurred to him that an ex-wife would be open to that.  IMO, if you and your ex both celebrate Christmas, then your son getting to see both of you that day (esp. during the stocking-opening and other morning festivities, which are often the biggest deal, for...
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