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Posts by VocalMinority

Sorry - I just read your post.  Hopefully, you're still checking for responses.   I'm intimately familiar with the personality-disordered mother and parental alienation aspects of what you described.  It's easier for me and my husband, because he's had sole custody of his son for several years and thus has a lot more control.  For example, DSS simply wouldn't have the option not to go on a vacation with us and his mom would have no opportunity to weigh in on it.  But...
 I think this is acceptable.  It contradicts the popular idea that a good stepmom "loves her step-kids like they're her own".  But I think that ideal can make a stepmom who's doing just fine feel like a failure.  And whom does that benefit? Our stepkids aren't our own.  They have a mother, with whom they share all the history and deep attachment that we share with "our own" kids.  In the rare case that a child is very young and his/her mother is totally out of the picture...
I feel very impressed with you, reading this post.  My ex is similar in many ways, but it sounds like he may be closer to neurotypical, in terms of the Autism spectrum.  I think the most important thing is what it sounds like you're already doing:  accepting him for who he is - who you knew he was, when you had kids with him - and not rejecting or raging against him, for failing to be the type of father (or husband) that perhaps, in retrospect, you wish you had chosen....
In our state, I think every divorced couple that goes through custody mediation is encouraged - or even ordered - to complete this online thing called Up to Parents.  I assume other courts recommend this (or programs like it) and that it reflects pretty common advice to divorcing parents, these days.  One thing stressed in Up to Parents is that it's important to call your ex-spouse "Mom" or "Dad" in the children's presence, NOT "your mom" or "your dad".   I think this is...
When I left for college, my parents had 3 younger kids at home and had been searching for a while, for a bigger house than the one I'd grown up in.  Their new house only had bedrooms for the 3 younger ones (2 had shared a room at our old house and I'd had an attic room).  I don't remember feeling disappointed, because it was sensible.  (Nor do I remember where I slept after freshman year, when I went home for the summer!)  But I do remember thinking it was nice that my...
Halloween
I keep reading these, laughing and trying to pick my brains for other good messes my kids have made.  Then it occurred to me:  the two biggest messes in my life as a mother, I've made myself.  "Hey, Mom's too quiet.  We'd better check what she's gotten into..."   1- While painting an accent color in my oldest sons' bedroom, some 15 years ago, it seemed silly to pour out such a little bit of paint into a pan, so I was just dipping my brush in the gallon can.  I was afraid...
 It's nice to be able to discuss vaccines intelligently, without upsetting anyone!  So often, people either take every vaccine without knowing why (I may be guilty of this, with MMR), or object to taking them, for reasons that seem more emotional or circumstantial, than scientific.   Here's a Washington Post article about the waning immunity provided by the chickenpox vaccine.  The article is from 2007, just before I became pregnant with our youngest.  It was in the news...
Yes!  In rare cases, a person might contract chicken pox twice, although one of the two cases will usually be extremely mild.  But as a rule, it's "one and done".   Contracting chicken pox makes you susceptible to shingles, as you age.  I think there's a shingles "vaccine" that basically helps keep the virus dormant.  (Otherwise those "Ask your doctor about the risk of shingles!" commercials would exist simply to give the elderly anxiety attacks, because there's nothing...
Yes.  I didn't want to go on too long about it (I'm capable of that! )   Basically, I've concluded that since chicken pox isn't quite polio, perhaps being the proverbial guinea pig wasn't any wiser than it is, with any new technology.  I was originally told the vaccine would keep my older kids from ever getting chicken pox (and that getting it might be worse for them, than for the avg. kid).  But they turned out to have been much healthier than their doctors expected, so...
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