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Posts by VocalMinority

You sound pretty insightful about the fact that the bulk of your resentments related to her are really about your ex, not her personally.  And they're understandable resentments.  Boy, could I go on for paragraphs, about my own ex's first live-in girlfriend, who shared my name, birthday and an uncanny amount of other life details, but she was only 19 and easily impressed by him.  She had one, neurotypical son - a couple years older than ours - who made my ex feel "little...
"Right of 1st refusal" (assuming it's part of your custody orders) may (depending where you live) entitle your ex to leave the kids with any adult who lives in his house (although sometimes it only applies to relatives).     But that's only during his parenting time.  ROFR doesn't enable the non-residential parent to block the primary custodian from enrolling the kids in school, just because Dad would prefer they attend the Academy of His Girlfriend, so he can say they...
Between my husband and me, we have SIX boys!  (I love the oldest two, but they're not included in my signature because I can't take any credit for raising them.  They were grown and out of the house by the time we got married.)   Only the youngest is my husband's and mine together.  I knew we would only have one child, because DH is significantly older than I am and (quite reasonably) did not want to keep having kids into his 50's.  This was my only chance to have a...
It is ridiculous how long I've had to sit here, trying to come up with an answer!     I do buy myself clothes and shoes, but almost exclusively on clearance or 2nd hand - and not a lot - so I look at that as a necessity, not splurging.  My kids would be pretty embarrassed if I volunteered at their schools or took them to church naked, or in old PJs!   I pick up the occasional thing for our house - always clearance or used.  Since I live with all men and boys,...
This school year, "Sam" has become one of DSS's core group of best friends.  DH and I don't have a "let's all get together for dinner" relationship with Sam's parents, but we (DH especially) run into them a lot, btwn our boys' friendship and it being their 8th-grade year, with many extra events requiring parent attendance/volunteering.   Sam's parents separated last summer and are going through an ugly divorce, which can feel especially isolating, for Catholics who...
I don't have time to read the whole article and respond right now, but it would be a good idea to cross-post this in the "Blended Families" forum.
(Caveat:  I'm no longer a single mom and my chief experience with post-marital conflict is my husband's extreme situation with his ex-wife and son, who lives with us.  I didn't have too much conflict with my own ex.  So, I've seen how things look when they go well...and the polar opposite.  I peek in occasionally at Single Parenting because I've been there and because some issues - like the legal ones - are also relevant for blended families like mine.)   1....
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, as it's absolutely not meant to be critical.  It sounds like, regardless whether you receive an unfair response, you try to focus on doing the right thing for the people who need you - and I respect that!   You've described being an all-around better person than your step-daughter's mother.  I don't say that to accuse you of snobbery, but to be factual:   - You're dependable and responsible - even toward a child who's not...
So I don't overcomplain, let me clarify: I did expect everyone (just at a different time), because we have celebrated every holiday at my house, since I got out of college.  (I'm the oldest sibling.)  For my Mom, the preparations for having everyone over are super-stressful; less so, for me.  Once the work is done, I really enjoy having everyone here and with little kids, it's easier to celebrate holidays where they have all their equipment, instead of having to...
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