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Posts by Shonahsmom

Love and light to you and your dear children mama.
I'm still feeling undecided about this. As soon as I feel at peace with one decision, my mind starts playing the devil's advocate. But I am enjoying reading these varying perspectives. Maybe I should start a new thread about this, but if I were to decide to create defined boundaries regarding the circumstances the girls spend together (ie, in our home or in DP's or my presence only) how do I handle the mom and her and her dd's constant phone calls, stopping by, cornering...
Quote: Originally Posted by embers I would make a boundary and hold to it, however; my child may not go into that child's home (alternate - my child may not go into that child's home without me - depending on the nature of your relationship with the neighbors). My reasoning? I do not want to knowingly allow my child to be around abuse. I do not think that is an unfair stance in any way. This is exactly why I am so confused. I bounce back and...
Quote: Originally Posted by Demeter9 I don't see this addressed, so please excuse me if I missed it. Is there a reason why the two children cannot play at your house instead? I wrote in the OP that the kid refuses to go anywhere without her parents except school. She absolutely flips her wig if they try to leave her at a b-day party or at the park with us. She actually missed dd's b-day party because her parents weren't coming. For dd's b-day I...
Quote: Originally Posted by queencarr Could you, while not forbidding her outright, tell your dd that you prefer that she not go over to this child's house to play, and why, but you will respect her decision if she chooses to do so? But remind her that it is not acceptable that she bring back X behaviors that she is learning over there. For example, she is disregarding your house rules that have been established by being sassy, so if she cannot modulate...
Quote: Originally Posted by AllisonR You have really looked at this from all sides, and are trying to do what is best. Yes, maybe slightly confusing to DD at the moment, but in the long run your actions, and your words, will be clear to her - you just want her to be happy and have friends she can respect and that respect her. It sounds like this friend is maybe very creative and imaginative, and DD really opens up and has fun with her because of this?...
I appreciate both of your replies and I agree with your sentiments. CC, I do love affirmations as well. I have been thinking so negatively about this family so much and for so long, it is the only thing I'm seeing. I think it would be useful to focus on their positives. I also need to seperate my feelings about the mom specifically from my dd's friendship with the daughter. I don't like the mom. I feel bullied and pressured by her. I feel put down by her and often...
Quote: Originally Posted by captain crunchy I I would let her hang with the friend. I think that you are sending mixed messages to your daughter personally. Either you trust her or you don't. Either you "take her seriously" or you don't. She seriously wants to hang with her friend. I agree that I am sending mixed messages. I feel very conflicted and it's coming across in my actions. I feel so tense whenever she's over there and I feel like I...
I need some advice. DP and I have talked and talked about this. We are on the same page but cannot come up with a good resolution. We TCS. We believe firmly in allowing our DD (almost 8) to experience a willful existence and try hard not to project or impose our preferences on her. We have household rules for the general comfort of us all, but don't expect her to adhere to those rules if she's in a household with different approaches. For example, we will not spend...
Quote: Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon I'm not trying to pick on anyone either, but why not teach your children to take care of themselves so they're well groomed? When they're adults and looking for a job (or in high school trying to date), will they be more successful if they look put together nicely (I don't mean expensive clothes or makeup!) or will they be more successful if they're walking around with bedhead and wrinkled, stained...
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