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Posts by bu's mama

Thanks mamas!   Oh, I do.  I'm just tired of all the crap.  He's really turned into such a the past year.  I really try to let a lot of this roll off my back & I can't really legislate his behavior but felt I had to set some boundaries with this issue.   His excuse that it's not his fault if dd comes home happy to talk about where they might be going and it's 'good for her' to tell me things 
Thanks Mamas!  I find it helpful to have some other perspectives.  Basically, I'm the one who has traveled & always provided info as a courtesy & what I would want to know.  I also like to plan things last minute some times, but again always have provided info as soon as it is arranged.  Now that he has begun taking her on trips I've had to ask for info repeatedly from him & then he pulled this latest deal where he knew about the trip for at least a month & refused to...
Hi all - so many new faces. I haven't been around in forever it seems.   I was looking for some advice/language about what you have in your custody agreements regarding out of state/overnight travel.  We've been separated for 6 years, & he was involved with every other weekend, Wed nights, one trip on Labor Day weekend to visit family out of state - no more, no less.  In our agreement it just says to provide an itinerary for out of state travel.   A little...
I've been separated for many years (5+) and we are now finalizing everything, which has not brought out the best in x.  I've totally lost any respect I've had for him and just disgusted by a lot of his actions over the past 6 months.   Anyhow - I wanted to keep the same last name as dd, but after the past 6 months I want no association with him so I'm seriously thinking of taking back my maiden name even though I don't want to deal with the hassle of changing all the...
I've been working on dealing with my resentment also.  DD is 9 & I've done most of the parenting since we separated about 5 years ago as well as before we split.  He had seen her for the scheduled time but never wanted anything more, wouldn't call her for days at a time, etc. and then this...   now he's dad of the year.  These days I'm pretty close to hating him because he puts on such a show for the girlfriend & has hurt dd in the process.      I'm working on accepting...
iirc you can put an alert on a passport application so that he cannot apply for one.  I don't recall all the details, but I came across it when dd was traveling out of the country with her father 2 years ago.   good luck
This year - definitely!  X has really not been treating dd well & I totally resent him & therefore the day this year.   x & I have been separated for about 6 years & we have both been good about encouraging dd to pick gifts/making something for the other parent.  I agree with the pp who said it's about teaching dd how to treat others.  Since Christmas though (since x has a gf) he hasn't done anything meaningful, except my bday when he stopped off at the supermarket...
Update... tonight was the picnic & he did not take her.  I am so angry at him & feel so bad for dd.  He also took her out of her play rehearsal early to drop her off at the picnic (I usually volunteer to work the check-in station since he is with her on Wednesdays).    The kicker was that he said to dd he couldn't come because "a promise is a promise" and I said what about his promise to spend Wednesday nights with you.  She said yeah I'm sad about that.     After this...
You seem to have been getting your ducks in a row.  I would *definitely* start gathering documents - even if you are living together, if he's that upset he may start removing things without you knowing.  I have one friend that was able to be upfront & work the details out, another whose husband was spiteful and stole & destroyed things.  Look here for a general list of things you will need.    I would consult a lawyer first when time is more on your side, but if...
Thanks for the replies - definitely chime in if you still want to.   I try to remain as neutral as possible, but I do want what is best for dd and I call him on it when he doesn't treat her well (like not talking to her for a week), but he always thinks he is doing a *fabulous* job.  He lies a lot & there's always a reason, explanation or a miscommunication about everything.       DD is also a people pleaser - so she feels like she has to agree with her father  so he...
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