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Posts by Dechen

Dd gets to decide on all of those things, and pretty much always has. She likes to bathe, but if she skips a day it is not a big deal. She understands that her privates can get itchy and rashy if she goes too long without washing, so she is almsot always willing to do at least a quick scrub down. I almost never brush her hair, because she hates it. So yes, her hair isn't the neatest. She is willing to let me brush it once in a while so that it doesn't get...
Big round of hugs for everyone. I love The Explosive Child book - it articulated a philosophy I had no words for, and helps bring me back to the view when I lose it and get stuck in frustration or pointless expectations. Dd and I have been doing really really well lately, but we had a doozy of a run in Sat. morning that left me emotionally exhausted and regretful that I didn't find a way to avoid the mess. It was a good reminder to not live in "as if" land -...
Quote: Originally Posted by Wabi Sabi I use this line on him frequently and it doesn't seem to help or have any impact- he just expects that he can be a holy terror, tear things up, dump things, make messes...and I'll trail behind him cleaning it all up. Whether or not you realize it, he's hearing you and the messages are being absorbed. You won't see the results for a year or two, but trust me: the values you are teaching and modeling are...
There is no way in Hades my dd could have handled a group daycare situation at 2.5. She would have been kicked out for sure. At 3, her physical behaviors have calmed down enough for preschool, but it really took until just before her third birthday that she's was up for it. And she still pushed her friends around, just not enough to be a big deal. So based on personal experience, I agree with Heartmama. Your boy is on the more physical side of the spectrum. ...
Quote: Originally Posted by sagewinna I am going to leave them inside when we leave now, I guess. I think this (and immature neighbors) may be the problem. Back when I had two dogs, I would let them stay in the backyard while I was out. I was a SAHM, so I wasn't out all day every day, but one of the pups was a cat chaser and I would have needed to crate him in the house with out me there. I had NO idea how much my dogs barked when I...
Quote: Originally Posted by thekimballs The two methods each have their place. Cesar isn't trying to get dogs to do things; he's trying to get dogs to STOP doing things. He also gets filmed with about 90% intensely dominant and aggressive dogs, where aversive methods are much more appropriate. Watch for the times when he deals with very afraid dogs; he uses ZERO corrections. Positive-only training doesn't adequately address behaviors that are...
Quote: Originally Posted by mollykatsmom What about your standard Big Black Dog? IIRC, people are more intimidated by larger dogs than smaller, and darker dogs than lighter colored ones. Any one of a number of nice shelter mixes would fit that profile. And "big" is relative, too. To most folks I talk to, any dog over 50lbs is a big dog. I think this is the best route for the OP. Go to the shelter, find a largish dog that is a little barky...
I'd never seen that - thank you! The wet cats across the stream? ROFL.
Dog parks - not the greatest place to socialize a dog, for reasons you've experienced. One thing you could do is "spy" on the dog park and pick out dog/owner combos that you like, and ask if they'd be willing to have playdates outside the park. Or, if you know other people with friendly well mannered dogs you can arrange to get together with them.
OMG I'm going to die. "Cute" doesn't really do her justice. Crushingly adorable.
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