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Posts by Dechen

Quote: Originally Posted by Bearsmama This might be a little OT right now, but do you think that besides the fact that a child like Bears could make a saint want to tear her hair out, and besides the fact that I could be operating during these hard times under these shadow-y, childhood issues, Do you think it's possible to just have a post-traumatic response to these issues due to recent emotional trauma involving said child? Okay, admittedly, that was a...
Children want to grow up. They seek independence naturally. I just don't think its anything we need to push. Some kids have more adventurous personalities than others, and some kids stay close by for a longer period of time. Both are fine ways to be. My almost 3 yr old recently started preschool. She is an outgoing, independent type and even so I was ready to pull her in the blink of an eye if she indicated that school was too much right now. It kills me (and...
Quote: Originally Posted by scubamama 10 month olds are distractable with about anything they can hold. Is there something specific that is a struggle? Not true. Many 10 month olds are easily distractable. My dd, on the other hand, was throwing full on tantrums by 9 months because she wanted what she wanted, period. I did my best to respect that, which included things like hiding when I wanted to eat something that she couldn't share,...
My understanding of attachment classifications is that the child's response to a parent returning after an absence is the most indicative of which category the child falls under. It isn't so much "Is the child clingy?" or "Is the child distressed when parent leaves?" but what happens when a parent returns. Securely attached children (according to this theory) take unambivilant comfort from their parents, regardless of temperament. Its been a while since I've read up...
I do delay help if dd is yelling at me or being rude. I don't require her to pull it together enough to make a complete request politely, but I do require her to make an effort to meet me on nicer ground. The minimum effort is one big breath. If she's getting out of control and can give me one breath (or an attempt) then I consider that enough. My mantra is "Ok, wait dd, work with me here." I use this technique because of dd's spirited personality. She is soooo...
Quote: Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom My basic approach is "if an ER trip isn't the most likely outcome of this, let them try." So my kids try all kinds of things with gusto. And sometimes they get hurt. But mostly they learn that they can jump, run, climb, slide, or whatever. And they also know that when I do say "Please don't do that because its dangerous", I'm really serious, because I don't say it very often.
Quote: Originally Posted by Roar When my kid (and every other kid I've seen) plays Playmobil it ends up with something like a princess, a couple of contemporary looking little kids, an alligator, and a Viking together as a rock band to entertain penguins who are sitting on a firetruck or something like that. So true.
Quote: Originally Posted by naturegirl7 There is no way that she could have been "spotting" both of those children at once. It just isn't humanly possible. At any point, one child could have bumped into the other since they were dancing so energetically as all toddlers do - or one could have slipped. ANd if that happened, she easily could have sent the other one flying - in a different direction. How is that mama going to grab and save both? Just won't...
Quote: Originally Posted by Lúthien Arcamenel I'm sorry that so many people are offended that my kids are good. People aren't offended that your kids are "good" - they are offended by the idea of dividing children into "good" and "bad". By your standards I have a bad kid. She's terrible! Truly awful. But she's not. Her behavior is sometimes unpleasant or undesirable, but she isn't bad anymore than compliant quiet children are...
I tend to make clear distinctions about what is ok at our house, and what is ok at other peoples houses. My counter usually has too much stuff on it for dancing, but in theory I am not opposed to two toddlers dancing on the countertop. I am a VERY good spotter, with lightening fast reflexes, thanks to raising danger baby. [ Dd was not one of the magical CC babies who instinctively knew danger - she was bolder and carefree. I have made it a point not to squash her...
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