Not-so-Dear Bag Boy at the grocery store,
I didn't appreciate you smashing my bread today. That wasn't cool.
Also, sunglasses are to protect your eyes from the sun. Which, last time I checked, does not shine INSIDE the store. Perhaps if you took off the damn sunglasses you'd be able to see what you are doing and wouldn't smash my bread. Sunglasses inside are another thing that's not cool. You look like an idiot.
The lady with the flat bread