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Posts by mambera

Not for me.   My mother reports she had painless labors so based on that, although I was prepared for the idea that childbirth might be painful, I was hopeful that it wouldn't be or at least not terribly so.   Big fat no to that one, my first was painful beyond words (13 h at home mostly in the tub, drove to hospital while pushing gahh) and my second only slightly less so but luckily it was over very soon (90 minute unplanned UC at home under shower).   If...
I joined TWWS ages ago when MDC was still under heavy moderation, but never ended up hanging out there much or posting at all because although I appreciated the sensibility over there I found MDC better organized for finding actual advice on a particular topic, which is the main reason I come here.  I just filter out the woo. ;)  TWWS has even less draw for me now that the draconian mod policies are gone from MDC.   I don't have too many other message board...
  This is good advice but I don't see how to implement it for something that is an intermittent rather than a recurrent problem.  90% of the time she does get ready for school within a reasonable amount of time.  But then we may have a different power struggle over something else, at another time.  And at the time of the power struggle she is often not in a mood to respond to empathy, humor, or inquiry.   I should mention that breakfast in the car, going to school in PJs...
  Well, I do leave if I need to leave.  She doesn't generally care.  Usually DH takes her to school in the AM, I was trying to do it yesterday because he had a meeting to get to on time - but since the situation deteriorated he ended up taking her anyway.  There have been occasions when she wanted me to take her to school (which I will do if my schedule allows and she requests it). On those occasions she gets dressed promptly to leave.  On days when she doesn't...
That's a good point about providing a positive directive e.g. 'be gentle'.   I did used to use that more with my older one who had more of the undirected, frustration-based lashing out.  DD2 doesn't lash out so much as intentionally try to harm DD1 (eg by biting her on the leg - good thing she has no teeth) so 'be gentle' doesn't apply very well and I've stopped using it.   BTW I don't use English with my kids so the phrasing options aren't quite the same.  That said...
I think this kind of violence when frustrated is pretty typical for many or most young children.    At 19mo I'd say removing her from the situation is fine.  Eg if she hits the 5 y/o, pick her up, say 'we don't hit,' make a big deal out of kissing the 5 y/o's boo-boo and soothing her, and take the baby away from the scene.  If she hits you you can say, 'That hurt!  I don't like to play with you when you hit me.'  And walk away.  (They absolutely hate this, which is...
I see many mamas on here say they 'just expect' that their children will do A, B, C, or that they 'don't give them a choice.'  What are the logistics of this?   I have an almost-4 year-old who this morning did not want to get dressed for preschool.  I tried being funny (hokey pokey), bringing her clothes, encouraging her to choose her own clothes, telling her what a big girl she is and so good at getting dressed by herself, could she show me what a good job she...
I think the children's relationships will be mostly shaped by their individual personalities and how they happen to mesh.  Some sibling pairs will do better with a closer spacing, others with a larger one.  Since one can't predict how this will work out a priori, I think it's pointless to try to select for any particular sibling spacing other than the one that works best for the needs/schedule/ability of the family as a whole.
  What carry are you using?  Some carries are much easier to remove without waking the baby than others.  Multipass carries are generally harder to remove; but single-layer carries like kangaroo and FWCC TUB are very easy to remove for example - just untie the knot under baby's bum, lean forward over surface while loosening carry, lie baby down on surface, remove straps from your shoulders and use them as baby blanket.  Works much better than removing baby from an SSC...
I know there are lots of threads on this topic out there but I sort of need to get my own thoughts out, would appreciate any advice.   We have two gorgeous girls, 3 (almost 4) years and 15 months.  I always wanted 3.  DH seems to be on board for 3.  But there are a lot of really good reasons for us to stop at two, and not much logic behind the choice to go for a third.   I don't really like the two-sibling dynamic myself.  I am one of three with a ten-year...
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