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Posts by allthesekids

I will check out that book, I have actually had someone else recommend it to me, so I really should get it now that there are two recommendations! I will consider asking them to cook. I give people in the house chores, but like I said, with 16 year old ds, it really doesn't matter. He just doesn't do them.  
I like the way you think....and I agree completely with what you have said. I feel like I need to explore why I am having trouble sticking to my guns and enforcing the rules, setting boundaries, etc., Deep down, maybe I fear loss of their love or something? I need to look inside and see why I am so bothered by this, and why I have so much difficulty carrying out the punishments and consequences. Arrrgh! Thank you so much for your reply, it was indeed helpful and makes me...
I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I have a 16 year old that I struggle with as well, though I have not had the issues you have with the violence, we have had trouble with him attending school. I would let him spend the night in jail. Anything to get him to understand that he WILL be responsible for his own life and own choices. I would also consider pressing charges for him damaging property in your home, and hopefully he would have to go before a juvenile...
     I am going to try to be concise with this, I tend to ramble sometimes about this subject. I have three teenagers and two small children who are 4 and 7 months.  The teens are 16, 13, and 12 ( I guess 12 is preteen, but she acts like a teen). I have struggled for several years with my older kids about the issue of chores. In my conversations with other moms of teens, this seems to be a normal problematic area. As these older three kids have grown, I have become...
Well, I think it is important for your daughter to get the message that you and she are both equally important people and have needs for downtime and your own sort of "play" like crafts. By ignoring your need to be engaged in an activity you like, you are sending the message that her desires and needs trump yours...which could cause an unhealthy pattern to be set up in which she feels she (and her needs and wants) are more important than you and your needs and wants.
This is my first ever post on this forum, but I had to say that this thread has been life changing for me, it has truly helped me so much. I have an identical situation with my own MIL and SIL and had been been experiencing so many negative emotions and anger about it. Reading what you ladies have written regarding the way firstborns are typically treated versus younger children, and codependent relationships, etc., has absolutely turned my thoughts around toward my MIL...
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