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Posts by green betty

Human beings create meaning. It's an essential part of what makes us human. And one of our primary ways of doing that is through language. Words matter. Word choice matters. "Good job" and "bravo" don't mean the same thing (if they did... we wouldn't have different words for them!) The specific words we use and how we use them send a powerful message to our children about how the world is constructed and what we think is important. So why on earth wouldn't we...
I thought Jenn made a great point (as you often do, Jenn!) In the situations where I feel it's most appropriate to say "good job"... it's usually even more appropriate to just say "thank you".
I can relate... way too well. We have one and we're going to stay our hand, also for a big bundle of reasons. I always imagined I'd have at least two. It's hard. It's hard when your baby moves out of the baby stages and you realize that the baby stuff--which you were still getting used to!--is gone forever, and it's hard when your friends have second and third children (and complain to you about the difficulties of having them), and it's hard when people (like my...
My dh and I had a loooong discussion about "good job" when dc was tiny and we concluded that it's a fine thing to say... if the person you're praising is doing a "job". And we think a "job" is something that you're doing because someone else wants you to, not because you want to, ykwim? For instance, putting away the dishes because your mother asked you to is a "job". Reading a book because you're interested in the story is not a "job". We value intrinsic...
Quote: Originally Posted by grumpybear At some point I got kind of tired of my FIL's query regarding "Why in hades would the Somalis or Hmongs migrate to MN, of all states?" Fantasy answer: "I know, it's just this boring place full of ignorant white people. You'd think they'd move somewhere with a little culture." (FYI, this comment does not reflect my true opinion of Minnesota. Minnesota is lovely! Full of culture! But ignorance too.)
My 4.5 yo is a very picky eater. And there's no better way to get him to reject a food then to offer it too often or too enthusiastically. Two methods that have worked for me are A) smushing up fresh fruits with juice or yogurt and freezing them into a popsicle (even though he KNOWS it's the same exact thing he won't touch at room temp, he'll happily eat a popsicle because it is tangentally related to ice cream and therefore a "treat"); and B) making intensely...
Quote: Originally Posted by KirstenMary Why should she? Should she do the same were he smoking a pack of Merits? Because it would solve the problem, that's why. Some people would rather actually solve their problems than be righteous at the cost of continuing to live them. To each their own.
Hmmm, I might approach it in a collaborative manner. You neighbor wants to smoke, you want to be free from smoke. There are probably several creative solutions which would achieve both goals. Would he consider using a vaporiser instead? Would you be willing to contribute towards the cost if he is?
My ds, 4.5, had long hair until recently, when he requested a cut so he could "look like Bruce Wayne". I gave him a bowl cut. I liked it beforehand because his hair was lovely and soft, and I like the look of long hair on most people. I like it now because it's easier to keep untangled. In the big picture, though, I don't much care either way. It's HIS hair, ykwim? I think it's funny/fascinating how big this issue is to a lot of people. My next door neighbor...
I started taking my kid to WBV when he was an infant and at his 6 month visit I was chatting with our family doctor (under our system everyone goes to the same GP) about how WBV are important even though we don't vax so they know each other and have a baseline for what's normal for dc, and our doc looked at me and said, "actually, if you aren't vaxing, there's really no point to these visits." Lol! Since we have socialized health care I decided that I wasn't really...
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