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Posts by grisandole

I think that Aricha has great advice on explaining to your dd why her cousin is acting like this. I would have your FH talk to his sister, too. I would also make sure to have an adult near them when possible so that dd isn't subjected to indiscriminate meanness. Hopefully the jealousy will die down soon.
My ex and I adopted a teen girl. We were foster/adopt parents and only took kids from 2-9 (bio kids were around 3 and 13 at the time). We did foster care for the state and for the local Native American tribe. The tribe called on a Friday and begged us to take a 16yo girl for the weekend only; as the group home was overcrowded. Well, we said yes, figured that two nights wouldn't hurt. She was fantastic, we all got along great, so we kept her, went from foster to legal...
I'm with you! I interact with my kids, but I don't "play" with them. I will do board games or wii, sometimes.   I don't play pretend or hide and seek or do arts or crafts (I have always hated crafts, even as a child). I will not go to water parks, and I don't think I'll go to an amusement park anytime in the near future, unless it is free and not crowded. I cannot stand most kids movies and won't watch them (other family members take ds2 to the movies). Despite this,...
I'm in a similar boat, my ex and I did foster care for about three years, including "professional" level care. I stopped when it became clear that I wanted a divorce. Anyway, that was years ago, I'm happily remarried and dh and I have been talking about it. He is willing, I am in theory but have the same concerns you do. Also, I really want an "ours", and dh does not, fostering and foster to adopt he is happy to do, and I think that may cause some issues since I want a...
Honestly, I would look for a night shift where you can do 10 or 12 hour shifts. I worked at a hospital and the moms that worked these shifts (I'm most familiar with the 12's) were fine doing nights because it was only 3 days a week.    I did a similar shift, 11-7 and when I got home I would make my ds breakfast, see him off to school, then go back home and sleep for about six hours, then wake up, get him from school, hang out, have dinner, leave for work. It didn't...
My ideal is that everyone cleans up after themselves, and then we each have specific chores. I say it's a goal because it requires a lot of reminding to get my household members to clean up after themselves. They will when asked, but I'm tired of asking and having to micromanage. I have dh, dss who is 15, and ds who is 11. Anyway, aside from cleaning up after themselves (laundry, putting away their dishes, cleaning rooms is all part of cleaning up after themselves), they...
Hi there! I don't know the laws in your state, but I do know that typically, the people who do the supervised visitation are well trained and will ensure that your daughter is safe. If the visits go well, they may increase his time with her. Have they ordered parenting classes? Is he willing to take the steps necessary to keep her safe? If he is unwilling to change his ways, that will become clear soon and then you can take action. But perhaps he is ready to mature and...
The pp has summed up my thoughts exactly. Often times men need to hear things from a third party, preferably another man. I would get into couples/family counseling with your partner asap and work on the issue that way, so you have that neutral third party, as well as go to support groups, NA has groups for family members of substance abusers.
Wow, that is crazy about the child support! And yes, being biased to the mother as a default, like the "old days" must be frustrating, it is different here.   I have seen that done a LOT, in terms of not asking for proof of numbers for child support (for either party). I don't understand it, either. Actually, now that I think about it, even in my case the judges never asked for proof, and at our actual trial (yes, it went to a short cause trial) I had paperwork...
I don't think anyone is giving you a hard time, rather, they are just pointing out that while it sucks, the courts in general do not like to change custody percentages unless there is a very compelling reason. I live both sides of this, as my ex and I do 50/50 with our child, and my husband who has totally gotten the short end of the stick with his son only gets his son about 25% of the time. We (dh and I) petitioned for more custody, with good reason, and it went...
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