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Posts by matte

I went through the whole 'using me' thing too. Uh, my husband had a great and prestigious job back home and now he's doing something menial to contribute and he's far from family, etc.....    I mean, this woman is going into public health (she's here for school, MA), and I am finishing a PhD in a very international field. So maybe I should just keep working on 'teachable' since she's come to me for tips about the neighborhood etc. I don't know, it's awkward. She brings...
Yeah, I was just so taken aback! I mean, when the Dr asked me it actually made sense, because I was being treated for VERY low thyroid, so I think he meant it in the 'were you meaning to ask me about fertility issues before' way. He was very caught up in how low my thyroid was, and surprised I was functioning, let alone fertile.    But yeah, it was a weird question and I don't know how to handle it now. Like I said, it was my cousin (who is very small town and...
I"m just editing this to add that when I was writing this your post above hadn't come up yet (and then I had to go and nurse midpost)... I guess to respond directly to your post above I wanted to add: You are doing a great job and really helping her. Maybe when she asks a lot for ideas for bonding with her baby just tell her that it will come and that it's totally ok to feel how she does, even if it doesn't feel nice? My friend (who I talk about in the last paragraph...
Yeah, I said the same thing I said last time I got that question (at my GP Dr's office, which I guess is reasonable) "We had just decided to start trying" because I guess people expect to hear about trying? Dunno. WEIRD.
Someone asked me the strangest question today when visiting me and my dear child: "did you plan to have him?" How does one respond to this kind of question? Isn't it perhaps kind of rude, no matter how much thought and preparation went into your child's conception?    How do I respond to this? This is a member of my extended family (I'm kind of an oddball, I have a very conservative family, an academic career, and an international interracial marriage). The overall...
Me too, what gives?   
People in their 40s who started families about 10 years ago or so started families in a completely different economic environment than we live in now. They can't understand what we are facing now not just because it's been a long time, but because things have gotten much more difficult. Let's be honest, this is a very different time than the Clinton era.  
I'm sure we could solve this problem by just turning foodstamps, medicaid, WIC, etc into tax credits! No one ever accuses someone who gets a refundable tax credit for buying a house of 'buying a house they can't afford' (even when they couldn't have afforded the house without the credit). No one accuses someone who got a tax credit for childcare of 'getting childcare they can't afford.' And finally, no one accuses people of having a child they can't afford when they get...
Just to chime in again, I think that the best thing that you can do for your friend, OP, is get her some practical help. Have you tried asking her what you can do to help? I just checked and I see that you are in Brooklyn, and you say your friend is 'far away.' Far away like Inwood or far away like Iowa? I imagine that thinking about her husband's coming return to work is probably VERY STRESSFUL for her. Maybe you could help to ease that current stress by doing some...
For what it's worth, and I don't know much about PPD or the situation, I think that APToddlerMama is saying something very useful and important. As a very new mom, I read it this way "It's totally normal if you don't feel bonded to your baby in the first few weeks. You are super exhausted. Before seeking psychiatric help fix the proximate issues: get enough rest and get help with breastfeeding." Very good advice in my book. It's good to know that it's ok and not totally...
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