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Posts by ShadowMom

I empathize with your situation.  I have a controlling ex, and have been divorced around 5 years now.   He is going to try to keep controlling your life.  He is going to be a pain.     I have to be careful not to be too friendly or nice with mine, because to him that's an opening to exploit.     You will have to decide what hill you will die on - in other words, what decisions are so important that they'll be worth the conflict caused (and stress to you and...
How did *I* end it?   Well, it was time for the every-six-months "You need to try harder, you aren't living up to my expectations" talk that my husband would give me.  And I finally said, "If you don't like me, I don't want to be with you."   When it's done, and you're really and truly just done with it all, there's no sugarcoating, no nice way to say it, nothing to say except, "I can't do this anymore.  It's over."   Despite the way I've put it, it was not...
My DS has used words that I consider inappropiate/divisive sometimes, like "idiot"... I think it was used to describe someone on tv, but I still don't care for the word.   I told him, "it's not ok to call someone an idiot" and explained what the word meant and how it could make people feel really bad.  And then there followed a talk about how some words are only used to make fun of people.   It helps if you know where they picked it up.  But yes, it's possible...
Well, you weren't there so it's hard to address behavior you didn't see for yourself.   For me personally, treatment of animals is a VERY big deal, just like treatment of humans, and I would have talked to my DS to make sure he understands it is not ok to be rough with animals, and here are the ways we touch animals.   It sort of depends on how animals are seen to you and your family, though.  If it's super super important, he probably already knows which means...
I don't get the whole forced apologies thing either.  I would have just apologized for her and gone on ("I'm sorry she did that.  It's not ok to hit people.")   Forced apologies are about power.  The lessons I want my child to learn in that situation are about appropriate behavior, not power struggles.  I feel strongly that modeling appropriate behavior, toward him and toward others, are what will sink in the most with my kid long-term.   One thing I know from...
I'm the sort of person that I need a few moments to myself if I start to lose my temper.  I explain as calmly as possible to my DS (7) that I need to be alone for a few minutes so that I can calm down and be a better mama to him.  But, it's only because of his age that I can do that.    So, I guess for me I would say:   1.  Counting to ten 2.  Doing something calming like reading for a minute, sitting outside on the porch, just laying on the bed for a minute...
My little guy is 7 and a half years old and he's a bit nerdy, like his parents.    He's having some trouble relating to the kids he meets at school, so I was trying to think of ways that he can meet other kids with similar interests.  He likes building things and is into complex stuff, he loves science and studying animals and space and stuff like that.   He's having problems socializing with other kids and feeling like he belongs and has common interests....
My guy (sleeps by himself, and has for the last several months now) is having a lot of trouble getting to sleep at night, and it's very upsetting for him.   I have shared custody of him, which means he spends half of his time with me, and half of his time with his dad.  He doesn't appear to have a bedtime at his dad's, and I'm guessing he goes to bed pretty late.    That's pretty unlikely to change, so I'm working with what I got.  I remodeled his bedroom and he...
Well, I have to say that when I find something new and fun that I'm interested in, there's generally a period near the beginning where I'm nearly obsessed with it, or at least VERY into it.   I was that way with piano, knitting, and many other things.  Everyone in my life got to hear all about these things, whether they wanted to or not.   So, I have two thoughts.   The first is that, while we dislike it when we see someone get overly preoccupied with a new...
I'll proffer that the problem you're having is not that your child won't eat vegetables.  It's that you have a lot of emotional investment in controlling of the actions of another person.   I think your frustration and emotional reaction to the situation (which are completely understandable) aren't allowing you to reach a place where you're in tune with him any longer.    An ideological change may be in order.    Controlling the content, portion sizes, times,...
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