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Posts by gitanamama

Either an empty house or a hotel room sounds soooo deliciously wonderful. Room service or take out, a whole bed to myself, hours to read or sleep or watch a movie (I don't think I've made it through a whole one since DS was born...) Sigh. Sometimes I use creative visualization to take myself to the spa. I imagine and try to feel each treatment I would get, the meal I'd order afterwards, and the marathon nap I'd take at the end. Is that too pathetic??
Thank you all for your encouragement, perspectives, and advice....and just for being there and listening! I've never really opened up to anyone in real life about the issues in our marriage. My family and friends are pretty much clueless about our "rough patches" so it's hard for me to get an outside perspective-- and since my own thoughts and emotions can be at either extreme, depending on the day, it's hard to really see the whole picture. Taking a hard look at our...
I love this concept of a marriage lilgreen-- thank you. It's what I hope DH can create in our marriage.  I do feel that DH generally respects me and treats me with respect most of the time. But the times when he doesn't leave me reeling and hurting.    We saw the marriage counselor for the first time today and it went really well. DH is open and willing to work on his issues with his temper-- but it was evident that he feels totally powerless and clueless about how to do...
This is what I'm really trying to wrap my head around right now-- would I be ok if things never changed for us? After nine years of clinging so hard to hope, it's hard to let go! But I feel like I've entered a new stage where it's time to be more honest (or less naively optimistic) with myself. I think I can accept that DH is not my soul mate and still be happy and content with our relationship, IF he works on his temper/patience. I don't know if I can drop that last...
Thank you for expanding on your perspective PrimordialMind. It certainly is deep food for thought, as GISDiva said. This issue, and your viewpoint, is something that I still struggle with almost daily. There are lots of things I love about my husband. We've been through a lot and share many similar goals and dreams. But there are lots of things don't click. He isn't the life partner I would choose for myself today, if I was single and searching. And that fact troubles...
Thank you to all who've responded-- I love the variety of perspectives. CI Mom-- your response really resonated with me. I'm trying to look outside my marriage to fulfill certain needs that DH can't. I have incredible friends, and a supportive family, and I'd like to spend more time cultivating those relationships-- and remembering how much they bring to my life. And part of this "awakening" for me has been redefining my idea of a good marriage, or my goals and...
A friend posted something on FB about how she "adores" her husband, and it brought tears to my eyes-- adore isn't a word I could use to describe my feelings for DH, and I'm coming to terms with that.    I love my husband and I'm committed to our marriage, but he is not my soul mate. He is not my best friend. It's not always easy for us--- in fact, in the five years we've been married, we've struggled a lot. And we still struggle. It often feels like two steps...
Yup-- DS HATED the carseat from the beginning as well. Even errands were a huge challenge. He would scream until turning blue. Basically we only drove when absolutely necessary-- and turned him around way earlier than I had planned. That seemed to resolve the issue-- he was still wiggly and got bored (and therefore upset) after a short period of time, but it was nothing like the first year. I suffer from pretty bad motion sickness, so I wonder if that was the issue? Or...
Thank you so much for that perspective Mama Amie. I absolutely agree-- although until you shared, I wasn't able to even articulate it to myself. DS is three and has started talking about going to school. It's not something that's really possible for us financially right now, and I've been feeling guilty about not being able to provide him that experience and interaction. But, the more I sit with it, I realize that he will have pleeeenty of years in school (unless we...
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