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Posts by gitanamama

Lately I've been realizing I have a hard time just playing with DS (3.) I SAH with him, and three mornings a week a friend of his comes to play, and I spend most of the time playing with the two kiddos. The rest of the time, I'm focused on running our family's two businesses, as well as daily house maintenance, cooking, cleaning, etc. I do engage DS in all of the things that I do: when I'm washing dishes, he's on a stool beside me "washing" his tea cups, when I do...
 I feel like I handled our early dentist and doctor visits poorly-- but I don't know what I should have done differently! We go to a pediatric dentist and a doctor specializing in family medicine. But because of our experiences, DS is now scared of both. I don't blame him-- was was basically held down and had treatments forced upon him (although I consoled him and comforted him as best I could the whole time.) All of the fun toys and gizmos were of no help or...
Thank you so much for your insight Puma-- you really have a wonderful, unique perspective to offer. I feel like our society is very wacky in that nuclear families are the norm. I think that many of my issues with DH would be relieved if we were living in a more communal setting-- I can see myself happily parenting with a group of women, "coupling" with DH for a certain part of the day, and DH getting support/stress relief from a group of male friends, allowing him to...
  I guess this is where I struggle the most. Impatience and irritability I will tolerate-- no one is perfect, I myself have many moments where I am irritable and less gentle in my approach than I'd like. But the line to me is so thin. In his moments of anger and frustration, I believe DH's intention is to control-- and sometimes to demean. An example from this morning, DS was whining about wanting a cookie. I calmly explained that we don't eat cookies for breakfast, but...
Puma- I agree that the traditional marriage ideal puts too much pressure on everyone. I think we all need outside support from friends, family, and community to meet some of our needs-- rather than expecting that our partner can be our everything. I see myself making this mistake-- DH and I spend so much of our free time together that I just end up relying on him in ways I probably shouldn't-- and vice versa. He doesn't have any close friends here (we moved to my home...
MrsBone-- I could have written your posts! In fact I logged on today to write a similar plea for advice. All I can offer is commiseration. DH really struggles with his temper. When he's frustrated or stressed, he has very little patience and he loses it very easily-- by yelling, or saying mean things, or being completely dismissive and patronizing.    DH has gotten better over the years--when he's relaxed and happy, he's a wonderful guy and a great dad. But life is...
Slinden-- you basically described my son-- although he's just coming up to 3 years old. DS is very shy around new people, he won't say hello,goodbye, thank you, etc. to strangers, no matter how much prompting and pleading I try (and I've learned not to even try.) He stays home with me, but has been exposed to a fair amount of people (I did home childcare from the time DS was 6 months old until just recently) so I don't think the issue is not being "socialized"-- it's...
Oh chrisnjeri-- I can so relate! We seem to be past our sleep issues now (knock on wood!) but DS was a terrible sleeper up until 27 months or so. I can so clearly recall that feeling of absolutely losing it-- reaching the end of my rope and either exploding (I grabbed DS's arm way too hard once-- and have never admitted that to anyone until now...) or just crumbling into hysterical sobs. I resonate with what you said about distancing yourself from your DD-- I remember...
It sounds like you already know what you need to do to feel better-- make more time for yourself!! (And maybe talk to your dr about depression too?) I too need time alone (whether I'm exercising, making art, or just soaking up silence) otherwise I find myself feeling grouchy and impatient.  I give a lot to my family and if I don't fill my own cup, then I find I end up feeling resentful.   I'm not sure what your budget is like, but if you can swing some childcare, I...
Hi mama, I can totally relate-- my DS (now 3) woke up 3-6 times a night until he was 27 months-- at which point we weaned completely. It was exhausting and really took its toll on me physically and emotionally-- although I don't know if I would have done anything differently. I tried many times at different stages to break the night-nursing cycle, but DS has always been more stubborn than most kiddos :) When he wanted to nurse, he wouldn't take any other form of...
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