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Posts by Houdini

Quote: Originally Posted by GuildJenn Yes, the child can - I was one of those children too. Dissociation is one mechanism. Also the tragedy of incest or child abuse is that the child kind of "normalizes" it - I mean the message that it is something to be hidden comes across, but the idea that there are secrets to be kept becomes normal and that kind of "pretending" becomes normal. That's the hard thing about being a survivor - you have to...
Quote: Originally Posted by jdedmom SIGNS?? Many of you here are talking about getting to know the familiy and look for signs. This may have been the only sign....ever. You can't predict the future and you sure can't change the past. So while you sit there and wonder about the new family that little girl could be getting raped every day. Let see either she is getting raped or the guy is totally innocent. Which one and I more worried about? Yeah...
Quote: Originally Posted by queenjane I believe you, i do. But i have such a hard time wrapping my mind around how an attentive parent could not know *something* was going on with the child. Because then what we are essentially saying, is that sexual abuse doesnt hurt the child in any obvious way, it doesnt change behavior, it doesnt cause any physical ramifications, the child never acts out...that there are no signs. How could there be no signs?...
Quote: Originally Posted by Demeter9 I wish there was stats on it. I doubt that anyone has done a study on it. However, you may go out and talk to ANY people who lived in a place with a molester. A town with "that guy". Any sub-culture or group or neighbourhood. Where EVERY person saw something or knew something and every one of them let it go. Interesting theory....I completely disagree though. I have yet to see where there was a case...
Quote: Originally Posted by Demeter9 Almost every molester has been caught and suspected LONG before anything was ever done about them. Interested to see the stats on this statement.
Quote: Originally Posted by KBecks I would value and trust the opinion of a trained sex abuse investigtor regarding the behavior. If someone with years of professional experince says it's OK, then I'll accept it. Until then, I want that second opinion. So a trained investigator couldn't be wrong.....you would really base your opinion completely on how one person judges the family to be. Hmmmm......
Quote: Originally Posted by KBecks I think that investigating should be left to people whose jobs it is to conduct criminal investigations. And that suspicious behavior should be reported to the authorities who are trained to investigate. And I don't see how the OP is doing any hanging of the new neighbor. If she calls the police she is not hanging either, she is expressing her concerns and the police will determine if those concerns are valid...
Quote: Originally Posted by KBecks Your right that this isn't about you and your family. I'm sorry you've been harassed but that's irrelevant to the OP's concerns. The OP has not been gossiping, IMO. She told a neighbor whose daughter had been out all night and came home with a skateboard that belonged to a new adult in the neighborhood that that adult had been very touchy feely with his stepdaughter at the neighborhood social. I think as long as...
Quote: Originally Posted by KBecks No, the OP has not concluded anything.... except that she saw behaviors that seemed inappropriate. It seems she is concerned there MAY be a problem. Like I said earlier, it's not the OP's job to have to figure out whether the child is being molested. But it is her job to report red flags to the authorities if she sees them. I think that a counselor with sex abuse training should be called and consulted, and...
Quote: Originally Posted by Nature I don't know. Honestly, maybe it would be better for you to just call CPS and get it over with. Either way, if he's innocent.. his life is probably going to be pretty crappy whether you call the authorities on him or you just gossip about him to all the neighbors. When I said get involved, I meant get involved in their life.. not just talk about them. I agree.....thing is even if you aren't going all over...
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