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Posts by redheather

I realized I had to pull it in a bit when DD (now 4yo) started repeating them back to us, and saw that I didn't enjoy being on the receiving end. She did need a little coaching but so far she's keeping it to moments of intense anger or frustration, and we're better about it too. We were a little loose before. On the other hand, the words have been de-mystified now, so they carry less taboo which seems to lesson the motivation to use them.   I do try to curb the use...
I used to dislike seeing girls dressed in head-to-toe pink, but now that I'm a mom (of a girl) I know that many kids choose to dress that way, and ask for it. It seems like a normal part of development, that kids like to do what other kids are doing, and well, pink's currently a part of it. Whether it comes from Barbie or older sisters or wherever, it seems here to stay. So are blue and trucks and football for boys, whether we like it or not.   I do have to admit it...
Ok Ladies,   If you reread my original post there is not one "should" in there. I also begin the most controversial phrase with "I wonder if," not "this is how it is." Please, a little patience and diplomacy will go much further here. I feel like one or two points get extracted from context, while other points get ignored, and the former become tar-and-feathering moments.   As far as having a monopoly on an open relationship with our daughters, it sounds like the...
Linda on the Move and Polliwog,   I did not quote anyone because I was not referring to any one poster in particular. I was responding to a feeling of my own that came after reading everything together.   Since you asked, 15 years ago I was doing the things it seems like you would want for your daughter. In my case I worked and paid my own way across Europe, India and Nepal, all while menstruating. I was young and terribly determined to do this all with cloth...
I must say I am saddened by an overall downer note in many of these posts. It IS a "big deal" to begin menstruating. For one thing you can never go back. But more than that it is a time of power and potential coming into a girl's body. Our daughters do need us to celebrate them, but of course in a way that honors them and is not all about us.   I wonder if girls, and their moms, are speaking from a place of long-standing cultural shame and embarrassment about women's...
Yes, definitely try consignment first.   Also consider a treat for herself if she feels good in the item, ideally a versatile one. It's nice to feel confident, especially in the second trimester when nothing seems to fit.   I also found that many non-maternity dresses and tunics worked well as long as they had a tie-adjustable empire waist. There's something about separating the boobs and the belly that immediately flatters a pregnant woman.   One or two...
We went for a nature name, in this case a tree, plus a middle name that we really liked but has no family connection. The names are what "came to us" while I was pregnant, so in some ways I think it was not entirely just what we the parents liked.   We know she may go through a teen phase of not enjoying her uniqueness but so far she likes her name a lot.   If we have another we will again wait and see what arises. In many ways when I think of baby names it all...
  I love this! Yes, it all depends on what the family dynamic is and what the parents feel is necessary for happiness. Clearly this family valued simply each other, and they got through it well. Another family might struggle and feel impoverished in this situation, and it would be understandable.   I think our personal values and beliefs are a big part of what we have to weigh in, not just monetary amounts. I know one family who believes very strongly in Waldorf education...
We are also mulling if it makes sense to have another, given current circumstances of tight finances. On one hand, why raise a family under stress? On the other, I'm really curious to explore how we can be more creative, which would benefit the family anyway.   We are older parents, and I think we're facing the reality that if we don't have another child now, we will be too old in the near future (I'm 40). Also, being older, I have seen just enough of life to know...
Sex, if celebrated and treated respectfully, is wonderful and life-affirming. I completely agree that "smelling like a bar" or whatever those lyrics are is not celebratory and cheapens everyone involved, and that's when I would sit down and have a conversation with an older child (who is beginning to comprehend things better) about what they might be hearing.   Even my 3yo DD is picking up on romantic love themes, marriage, and even mild flirtation. It's just out...
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