Me personally, I would have to go with choice number one. I totally understand your daughter's need for privacy. Your son can learn to live without some materials things for a while until he brings in his own money. Living with less is worth it to me in order to have my personal space.
I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to you again. It seems from reading your posts from the past few years that you moved too fast into this relationship after your previous relationship and you didn't listen to the advice of your family. What does your family advise you to do now in your current situation?
I believe that a lot of people's depression is caused by outside stressful events that become internalized that then affect the body. Common causes such as a death in the family, a divorce, a loss of a job, financial difficulties and just life in general.