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Posts by Vrai

(Delete, tired of this passive-aggressive shit.)
I understand. I don't want to project on any future children, because I don't know them. I know DD. I know how she reacts to things and that her personality would likely lead her to fall by the wayside naturally, because she doesnt like to speak up or raise a fuss when she needs something. And I know myself and that I tend to prioritise whatever vies for my attention loudest and demands it immediately- and it wouldn't be DD.     That's at the heart of it. We know we want...
Eeah. Totally blew my post way out of proportion and you're making rash judgements. It's not the "end of the world," as you so dramatically put it, but it is a concern to me, that she will have to divide our time, resources, attention, and that she's old enough to remember how her life was before we pumped out another unit. I don't know why it's so hard to understand concern over a total upheaval in your child's life. Actually, from what you say, I wonder why you don't...
Thank you all for the thoughtful responses. Some of you are, of course, right: I am trying to make peace with our original plans not working out. And also that siblings add to life rather than detract from it in most cases. I guess to me, spacing has to be one or the other: very close so that they don't remember life without each other, or very far apart so that one has time to grow up and start moving toward more independence. I know that's probably a weird way of...
Thank you very much. I'm glad someone *gets* the concern and is willing to provide perspective on it at least. Very cute with your DSS, and congrats on your pregnancy!   Idk. Sometimes I just don't know what I'm thinking and my head gets a little turned around. I honestly don't think another child is a good idea now, at DD's age. In a few years when she's more independent. I want to have my cake and eat it too, unfortunately. The opportunity for a closely spaced...
I was giving my DD her maths lesson the other day. She doesn't have to do school, but she craves organised school work, and asks me to give her assignments like a "real teacher," but reckons she wouldn't like a "real school" because she'd have to do work just to do it, not do it because she wanted to learn (this is so my kid). So we're plugging away at her BrainQuest Grade 1 book (which she does math in, but nothing else, I'm trying not to have her go too far ahead and...
Also wanted to ask those of you with multiple children - what is your kids' relationship REALLY like? I see so many things, even on here with nonviolent parenting (though I guess lack of physical violence isn't necessarily indicative of stability in other areas of life and parenting), about siblings arguing, resentment, hating being around each other. Even as adults, heck, even in my partner's family. His brother is 3 years older and has done nothing but be a drain on...
Oh I fully understand that part. That's part of why I'm so hesitant to bring another child into our home, whatever way we end up going with.   I know she needs relationships, we're working on settling down somewhere for that very reason. It's different, having a sibling when the next oldest child is truly a child, not a baby or a toddler. She'll remember it if we do have another child: she'll remember Before Sibling, and After Sibling, and how she had her parents' full...
  We don't work that way. It's not just about us and what we want any more. She's not a pet to drag along and do our bidding, subjected to our whim without any consideration for her feelings and needs. It does revolve around her because that's what both my partner (not DH) and I believe children should be: not an accessory or an afterthought, but a small human being central in the lives of those wanted and CHOSE to be parents to her, who needs our attention, care, and...
(( Deleted. Didn't mean for this to turn into an opportunity for anyone to start drama and toot their own horn. ))
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