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Posts by chenchen

I think this is one of those situations that works until any one party is uncomfortable with it, and then it's time for a change. From the way things sound, everything is still innocent. Plus the fact that they've known each other so long probably means you know the boy's family well, so you know what kind of influences he's getting there. I think the direction to go in is just to start making rules that are already old hat by the time some of the naivete starts to...
You're right.  It's good to be reminded that we don't need all the future's answers right this minute.  Hopefully we'll know what to do when the time comes.  Preparing financially now leaves open all possibilities down the line.  Better safe than sorry, I suppose.  Thanks. :)
We would like DC to go to college because we feel it will give better footing for a career.  I am torn on the payment portion.  We are in a position to be able to help, and a huge part of me wants to.  The other half knows the value of paying for my own education - the investment in myself.  I am always trying to avoid instilling a sense of entitlement in DC.  I think there's some value in DC worrying over how to make the pieces come together for something greatly...
I agree that it's important to be grateful and to teach your child to be grateful and to express gratitude.    The way that we've handled this situation has changed as DC has moved through different ages and stages.  As an infant, there were no real issues, except occasional character clothes, which I just donated quietly.  When she became a toddler, we disappeared things after a day or two, which generally went over fine because it was out of sight, out of mind.  In...
I agree with this poster.  I also agree with your assessment that she's not trying to score a free afternoon, but rather trying to protect her son from disappointment (and herself from the ensuing tantrum).  She was straight with you about her reasons, so I think it's reasonable to be direct in return.  I would probably phrase it something like this:  "DD asked again for a playdate with your DD, and I've given some thought to what you said when we asked last time.  I...
Thanks for this!  We've never heard of these.  Putting them on DD's library list.
Reading your second post made me so happy.  You're right - it really is about communication, and him being able to tell you what he's trying to do for you goes a long ways towards mitigating other annoyances with him.  I think talking to your pastor is a great idea, and I think you have a positive and realistic attitude and approach.  You're handling this before it leads to passive-aggression, and that speaks loudly to the idea that you guys CAN solve this problem and be...
Substance abuse wasn't directly mentioned in your original rebuttal, but homelessness was.  Since substance abuse is present in more than 50% of homeless individuals, it was worth naming explicitly as a danger.
There's that word "stigmatize" again.  No one is stigmatizing ("regard as worthy of disgrace or great disapproval") the mentally ill or the homeless. I'm not campaigning disgrace OR disapproval.  I'm encouraging caution.  I also have a good deal of experience with mental illness.  I'm the daughter of a woman with borderline personality disorder and sister of two brothers with bipolar disorder, one of whom has spent substantial amounts of his life as a homeless man, and...
There is risk involved anytime a child is alone in public, yes.  But the risk is dramatically increased if the child is alone in a place where people with mental illness and substance abuse problems are known to congregate.  Just because unknown risk exists in the world doesn't make it any more logical to knowingly place a child at risk.   As to the libraries here, all of the libraries have children's sections, but they are all also open floorplan - the children's...
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