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Posts by annarosa

so I will try to make this short my half sister had her first baby at the end of January. I was so delighted for her and was so looking forward to holding my first little nephew and congratulating her and everything like that... well now it is mid March and we have still not been invited to visit (she lives about an hour away) even though I have phoned a number of times to say can we come today/tomorrow/this weekend now I am hesitating to call more... the...
I was left by my biomum at 4 weeks old and was 'given' a new first name and kept my biomum's chosen name as my middle name I still at age 42 wish that those around me had kept my original biomum's chosen name as my first name - I have never felt that the name that was given to me after this has ever really fitted me ...............
so for the soap in the bathtub - I really would not put it where he can reach it - he is really a bit too young to follow your instructions when using it is such fun - you decide how much soap to put in and then put it away... the noisy toy is a bit more of a difficult one - but basically I would probably just take it away or distract his attention on to another activity maybe even in a completely different room so then these two things do not really become an issue...
thanks for starting this thread Morgraine - it made me feel cold when I read it because that is how I sometimes feel and it really scares me I have yelled horrible things at dd1 and have not been able to stop myself I agree that finding the triggers can help - but for me I do not feel that they help ENOUGH - I am still searching for answers, solutions and ideas ......................
dd1 used to be horrible about all kinds of things like putting on shoes, hats, coats etc. really it was a phase and passed after it had burned itself out - but nearly burned me out in the process ! humour and being silly really really helped the whole thing - making up stupid songs about shoes, about a boy who didn't put on his shoes and what happened to his feet/shoes, making the shoes talk and begging to be put on/go to the park with him - anything you can think of...
I have found the Louise Bates Ames series pretty helpful
2o months is kind of young to really understand what you expect of him in relation to a lot of things there are great ideas on this forum - if you have time, read through some of the back threads for how others have dealt with 20 month olds ......otherwise for really dangerous things like the ledge then the best solution is to toddler-proof the house - find a way to make the ledge inaccessible or safe
I have just gone through a move too - was 8 months pregnant and had dd1 3.5 to look after I wanted to add that it really helped me and her to understand the anxiety that she felt about the move and what was going to happen basically the less she was involved the better - she just really needed to play play play and not get involved in packing, organising etc. I also kept repeating the same simple phrases to her since she was anxious about what was going to happen to her...
you did totally the right thing - all power to you as well for all the 'grovelling' - something that is so hard to do but really does (normally) smooth things over really sorry about how your mum treated you - is this something that you can try to sort out with her after the wedding is over ???
I don't have any advice about stopping the screaming -sorry but you really do need to look after yourself as much as possible during this difficult phase - take small amounts of time for yourself every day - make a hot drink and drink it, take a slow walk to the mail box, take time for a slow shower if you can - everything to keep your own tolerance as high as possible and give you some stamina to see it through until this phase passes...........
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