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Posts by Essie

I am working on setting boundaries. For me it sometimes isn't immediate to identify if a boundary has been crossed. It's frustrating but I am working on being more empowered. 
Exactly. Thank you.   I noticed that after all of this happened at FIL's house he kept giving me things and bought me a couple of things (to be nice) I thanked him, but in my gut felt like he was doing it out of guilt and also b/c it's a way of making himself not look like such a jerk. Doesn't fool me. No one will ever hurt DS and he will never go unprotected as I did when I was a child. It only takes one time, you all are right. I am lucky in a sick way that FIL said...
Ditto. Sounds dumb but I am just a self doubter and guilt ridden by nature even though I know this guy is not deserving.   Thank you!
Am I right to not send a school picture of DS to FIL this year? after our visit he asked me for a photo of the three of us and I never sent it. Said I couldn't get it to work from my phone. This is all so warped. 
Thank you. what you said about your Dad and and his brother and their discussions about these situations turning into more is a real wake up call and complete clarity for me that I have done right. I am good with the fact that I need to be the one to be the warrior here. No, the relationship doesn't matter to me with FIL. It is still difficult for me to hear DH justify that "my mom thought that not saying anything until it comes up so why don't I agree with her? he's...
you are lucky DH prefers to do the talking! sometimes I think maybe this situation arose because the universe or God is telling me to finally speak up and out and stand up for myself; which in this case means my son! it's easier for me to think of it that way instead of just being angry at DH for not acting the way I fantasized him to.
Hi, I don't know how to select portions of posts but I wanted to respond to parts of yours. I did think of the fact that just b/c DH couldn't recall anything strange from his childhood with FIL doesn't mean it didn't occur. I've had friends in my life who have had dysfunction in their families and have talked a lot about it with friends, etc. I am familiar with how the brain can shut out what is traumatic, or in my personal experience; hang on to it. I appreciate your...
I think I get what you are saying, but I want you to know that you won't offend me if you are talking about "here" being this thread. Can you pm me if that's what you meant? really, I want to hear it all!    Thank you
Something that just triggered in my brain; FIL was divorced from his 2nd wife (first is DH's Mom). I knew her, and I don't know why they are not together other than she said he was very "rigid" in his ways. I know it was hard for her, but I remember when it was going on she didn't divulge much other than that. I wouldn't have expected her to anyway, it's not like we were really close. I knew her well enough though that she would have talked to me. What I am wondering is...
Thank you. I heed your advice strongly. I know now from what you say that I am not losing my mind. I was starting to feel as if I was, and also that I was wimping out if FIL wasn't confronted ASAP. You are correct, it wouldn't change anything. Even if FIL told me what I "want to hear", I wouldn't believe it after what he said. He is a total freak in my book now. Before he was pathetic but now he is off the charts.   These posts have really given me strength.    Hugs to...
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