I think that his father should let your step-son lead the way by asking for when he wants to listen to the tapes. You can both let him know - clearly, no manipulations on your part w/re: to his perfectly natural tears upsetting you - that it will be his decision and that you will honor his decision as to when he would like to hear his mother's legacy/gift to him. And plan to keep that promise. And plan to be there for him as he grieves.     Incidentally, how did you...