I have the same problem with my son.  He does not play with most toys either.  He is a very bright boy, knows his ABC's, numbers colors, shapes, but toys do not interest him.  He loves puzzles though.  I have to physically sit with him and play together otherwise he doesn't touch them.   Have you looked into Sensory Processing disorder.  A lot of the symptoms your dd shows are typical of that.  My son was diagnosed with that and it explains a lot of his behavior.