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Posts by Curious Me

My sixteen year-old (bi/lesbian/unlabeled) daughter has a new girlfriend who is also sixteen. They started "going out" a week ago. They want, naturally, to have sleepovers -- girls, period, like to have sleepovers. Their relationship makes it a tough call for both me and the girlfriend's mom. On one hand, I believe sex is a normal, natural, healthy part of life and relationships. I believe we cannot control or stop teen sexual activity. On the other hand are...
Today I received an e-mail from my dd's Advisory/Homeroom teacher. This teacher really cares about her and is always advocating for her and praising her character, etc. My dd is a bit of a social butterfly and he looks out for her and tries to keep her focused on the rules (to be in class and not roaming the hallways during class). This is a part of the e-mail: "unfortunately... i just had a terrible encounter with ______. i was in the hall and she was with another...
Quote: Originally Posted by moondiapers Woah, did we read the same post? She plainly said her concern was that her SD was dating ANY guy of that race regardless of how he treated her and that his skin color is more important to SD than personality or his treatment of her. I think it's a very valid concern. If my dd was attracted to one race to the point of not caring about the boy's other traits I'd be really concerned too. If YOUR daughter...
Hi Tara, ahhhhhh......isn't it grand -- this parenting stuff??? In my experience, it definitely has NOT gotten easier, but in a lot of ways, as my daughter matures, as much work as it is, it has definitely become more enjoyable. You are NOT alone. And now I know that I'm not alone!! Most of the time I feel like I am the Lone Ranger in a sea of permissive, unsupervising, absolute trusting, free-for-all parents. Talk about being caught off guard!! Yikes! How could...
Quote: Originally Posted by leahr every one deserves respect wether you agree with what they do for a living or not. A women who is insecure or has low levels of self-worth needs respect more than anyone else. Absolutely!
First you said: Quote: Originally Posted by Ary99 Personally I think dating people exclusively of a particular race ONLY because they are a particular race is racist. I come to this discussion as a former foster parent whose 16 year old FD would also date only _________ ethnicity and people who treated her poorly. I think it was her way of trying to identify with what most people in American would consider a "repressed" culture. She herself felt...
Quote: Originally Posted by Journey I think part of the thing is she's a big girl. She has a "ghetto booty", which she says black men love, while the white boys pick on her about it. She thinks only black men like thick women. That may absolutely be part of it. And that is a "part" of why she is attracted to black guys. It is not "just because." It IS because of this, and that, and that, and that (whatever those things are for HER). And the...
Quote: Originally Posted by Journey Like I said, it doesn't matter the style. Just as long as the guy is black. She'd date a churchgoing boy who wears clothes that fit... as long as he's black. Hmmmnnnn........I seems like it all boils down to one thing -- she likes black guys. I still can't figure out what is wrong with that. If she liked only white boys what would you say? If she liked only preppy asian boys what would you say?...
Quote: Originally Posted by Ary99 I'm sure your daughter's heritage plays a part in her choice. Perhaps since she is so interested in exploring that part of herself you could focus on going to art exhibits, discussing political figures, and meeting positive role models. Find a female mentor with a similar ethnicity who can show her how strong she can be. Of course my daughter's race plays a HUGE role in who she is attracted to. That is...
I can relate to your frustration, Journey -- in that our girls are at a place in their life where the PERSON inside the skin is not all that important to them. I'd dare to say, however, that clothing style DOES matter. My daughter would have ZERO interest in a "preppy" black guy and is CURRENTLY only interested in those who wear that gawd-awful sloppy, baggy CRAP. It it likely that your step-daughter pays a lot more attention to their personality and "style" than you...
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