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Posts by mamaduck

You might start by contacting a university. The best family therapists that I have met teach part time in the evenings.
Is it mainly auditory stimulation that sets her off, or does she have other catagories of fears as well?
The only thing that is jumping out at me right now is the fact that you are co-parenting a teenager with someone who are in constant conflict with (your mom.) Its an impossible situation. Ideally, all the adults in your daughter's life should be working together, on the same page, with the same goals and with a basic level of respect toward each other. So I guess my only advice would be to either work things out with your mom, or else pull your daughter out of there...
I like the idea of using the new name for a few months and making sure it sticks before you change it legally. But do make sure you change it legally! My DH is called by an entirely different name than his legal name, and has added a real element of hassle to his life when goes to take loans, buy property, get married, apply for a license, etc...
Does he hurt anyone other than siblings?
Dear Soleil, I am a guidance counselor in an elementary school. There are 104 kids in the fourth grade at my school. Lots of them have come to talk to me about sex this year, because they know I am a safe person to talk to who will keep their secrets. Lots of them are wondering about sex, and thinking about sex, and most of them feel like they are weird because of it. They don't know that all their friends are having similar thoughts and questions because it is such a...
I think its best to just allow it to be a learning experience for yourself. We all have plenty of them! I know that I do anyway. Believe me when I say that my family maintains a very tight schedule, and getting everyone where they need to be in the morning is a high priority. However, I've learned the hard way that things always come unravelled during the times that I allow tension to take over our interactions. Its a downward cycle -- I feel tense, I rush my kid, my...
Well, my kids are in school and have activities, and DH and I both work full-time. So yes, of course we have a schedule. And it does include basic stuff like bedtime routines, etc.. down to what time we each get to use the shower (4 people, 1 shower.) I'm not sure we'd be able to function on a daily basis without a schedule -- I can't even imagine what that would feel like. Chaotic and upsetting, I think.
A similar phrase that might actually be constructive is, "What were you thinking about when you did that?" Or "What did you think would happen when you did that?" If you can ask that question, and then make yourself listen to the answer -- you might get some insight into what preceded the foolish behavior.
"Kids are Worth It" by Barbara Coloroso was instrumental in converting me to GD.
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