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Posts by Momof9kids

Using the "BM" or "NCBM" here in my posts is ALOT nicer than how she is referred to IRL... :LOL
Sounds like she (mom) wants her summer's FREE. And she is supposed to reimburse the child support??? Your Dh should go into court and have that Order REMOVED. He has NO recourse if she doesn't reimburse him. NONE. Won't matter that the kid is living with you - because there is NOTHING documenting it. My Dh's ex tried pulling this one 7 years ago. He laughed and told her "I'll take the kids when you sign the papers". I agree with DOCUMENTING everything right...
I've been on a few boards the last several years (mainly step-parent related) and I use certain acronyms simply out of habit. I have FOUR step-daughters. When I refer to them in general (all 4) I'm not going to sit and type out all of them, I simply type "skids". When I refer to their non-custodial mother, I type "NCBM" or "BM". I don't have much online time, so I try to 'abbreviate' whenever I can... KWIM?
I agree that getting her in to talk to someone is important, however, at that age (ugh!) they sometimes REFUSE to talk... I can tell you from personal experience that 13 year old girls "worship" their mothers and the SM is "the evil one who came between her mommy & daddy" My SD13 has lived with me (twice) FIVE of the last SEVEN years. I raised her, not her BM. But, "mommy is GOLD" in this girl's eyes and believes all the crud that mommy feeds her. This, too -...
I was thinking along the same lines - like a "family pass" to the local zoo or museum (because I know it can be costly for a whole family just to get IN those places) or, if you want to be humourous about it, you can make a gift basket, with all kinds of little "family" goodies in it - like: Mr. Clean Magic Erasers a family board game or card game McDonalds Gift certificates earplugs for the parents a bottle of tylenol a DVD and some microwave popcorn etc...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MOM))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))) I'm sorta new, so I'm wondering (guessing) you are the custodial? My Dh's ex willingly gave up custody of her 4 girls (she actually demanded DH take them or she'd put them in foster homes) and for the first year, I beat my head against a wall trying to get her to be a better parent. She only took the girls when it was convenient for HER - never me; even when I was in labor with my BS, she wouldn't...
First off, I'd like to say that the custodial parent (if you are the NCP) has NO say in how ANYTHING is done in your home - WRT house rules, sleeping arrangements, etc. And, vise-versa. Second, I have 4 step-daughters (now all teens) who came back here to live 3 ys ago. We only have a 4 bdrm home. My Oldest BD was already just moved out when they came back here. So, two of the skids got her old room (its small) with a bunk. One s-kid moved in with my other 2...
I forgot to add: I breastfed my babies in front of my step-daughters. If THEY were uncomfortable with it, THEY could leave the room. I discreetly breastfed in public and openly at home. They never DID leave the room and if they asked questions, I answered them. It was their BM who had the problem with me "exposing" myself in front of her children...to which we simply didn't respond to. We all know that breastfeeding is not "exposure" in some sort of X-rated manner....
Some women can feel just as close to a step-child as their own bio child(ren) and some women can't. There's no right or wrong in it. Just as some women could adopt and consider that child their own, and some can't... While I care for my stepdaughters, I do not love them the same way in which I do my bio children. I didn't have them since newborns, I didn't "bond" with them, like I did my own. I think whatever YOU feel comfortable with (WRT personal boundaries) is...
Hmm, let's see - I'm 41 now and been working since 15. And, babysitting/pet sitting, newspaper route even before that. My first "office" job was at 19 as a file clerk - then reception, etc - moving my way up. Eventually I became a County department supervisor. I was a single (& then married) working mom for many years. Even though I consider myself a SAHM now, I still work every tax season from Jan-April 15 (so 3 months of the year) but I do alot of work at my...
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