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Posts by StpMonstr

I like the journal idea. I don't think you have a choice right now but later on if the kids come calling and asking questions, they will see that they were (are) loved and you were (both of you) thinking of them. Right now, my DH is being kept from him grandson, it's his daughter's way of punishing him (major ACOA issues going on here) so I suggested doing the same thing. This way when his grandson wants to know who his grandfather really was, he'll have it first-hand...
Your question is a tough one. Referring to the Dummies book, it recommends that all discipline come from the bio-parent, especially in the beginning. You're just in the beginning stages of establishing a relationship with him and it's very fragile. Be supportive, be loving but don't be a doormat, set boundaries for yourself and him but be sure your partner is there so everyone is on the same page when boundaries are set. Maybe a weekly family meeting would be helpful...
Believe it or not, in an act of desperation, I bought the book "Step-parenting for Dummies"! It was on sale in B&N and it had some pretty good advice. Unfortunately, there aren't too many helpful books on this topic but this one had some helpful hints.
Congratulations. Since you are a stepchild, you have a head start. I would suggest following his lead. Be yourself, let him have his relationship with his Dad, and give him time to adjust. My experience as stepmom was a disaster with my husband's daughter but she seems to have difficulty with all the parental relationships in her life. However, I have a great relationship with my stepson. She has "mother issues" and cannot seem to have other relationships without...
Good for you! Who said StepMom's are wicked??? My dss's mom used to send gifts for my dh (from her, not the kids!).....anyway, she may not acknowledge it your dsd will appreciate it and that's the important thing. You're a good person. Merry Christmas to all.
Pray for her. Seriously. She is very sick. I've been there with my DH's ex. She is a very sick 'lady'. I could write a book on the things she put us through, the kids, and now she manipulating a grandchild. When I get really angry, I pray for her and I get real peaceful so it works both ways. She's miserable and unhappy and will take it out on you. Don't let her. Pray, ask for relief from the anger and ask that she gets better too.
One thing to keep in mind is, this too shall pass. For me when things got really tough and I was near the edge, I would run. I would put on my sneakers, drive, yes, drive, to the nicest park and get out and run! Sometimes I had the kids with me. I would leave them in the car, ask them to give mommy 2 mins and I would run around the track (and I'm not talking about running far or for a long time, just enough to get winded and feel like I shed something while I was...
Thanks for the viewpoint from the other side. We have talked to her over the years. Together and separately. We've done it in loving ways and we also argued about it. Together and separately. I've accepted the fact that maybe she just doesn't like me, that's ok. It's not that easy for her dad and I understand that. He has sat with her and asked very specifically what the issues were....she says it's nothing that she can put her finger on.....he has brought up things...
Dad is in the hospital with major surgery coming up. Do I call the daughter that refuses to answer his calls and tell her what's going on....or let it go....as much as I don't like what she's doing I would hate to have to call and say, "uh, your dad won't be bothering you anymore...." without giving her a chance to make peace. On the other hand I don't even want to be bothered with her but should somethng happen to him, this would only further screw her up and again,...
Trust me, my dh is no angel but as far as being abusive to his daughter or her mom, I don't think it happened. There was fighting and yelling but mom was also cheating on dad so....also, mom did a number of both of his childern emotionally, dragging them into court to testify against him (nothing in particular, just how life would be better for the son if he lived with mom, she had more money and could give him more stuff, drums, fancy school, etc.)...ss also uses these...
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