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Posts by sparklefairy

I don't get the "sadly" when it comes to a kid visiting/building a relationship with a dad who isn't a bad guy. His dad is his dad, even with an intellectual mismatch. I know I go in and out of compatibility with my kids in cycles -- navigating adversity together is part of what makes us close, imo. Relationships are not just for times when everything is easy-peasy perfection.   If he were abusive or dangerously stupid, I would have a different response.
This really helped me!   My kids having grown accustomed to shouts of, "I love you, [my name]" usually from the shower or from in front of the bathroom mirror or while I'm doing dishes. That was how I started arresting those "You suck. I hate you." thoughts that would just spring into my head.   I do think it really helps. And I don't try to talk myself out of it -- I just leave it at "I love you" as an affirmation.   It did start when I was beating myself up for...
I worked for awhile in a substance abuse treatment facility for adolescents. Most of my clients were young men. A very common theme that I saw was that they needed a massive amount of physical activity to meet their physical and emotional needs for movement, but that their lives were asking them to sit and listen, sit and read, sit and behave most of the time. Exercise was almost always a big part of their recovery plan. It gave them a sense of accomplishment -- reaching...
You could also talk to the one you like better, tell him or her about the price difference, and see if s/he'll work with you at a lower rate.
I think I might start with the "why" of my own discomfort. Is it something that I can reframe? Is there a piece of it that is actually harmful to my child in some way, even if he or she is enjoying it?  
Mine was a little bit older than I was. I was younger than my mom. My mom's mom was younger than all three of us.  
I usually say something like, "Me, Hitler, and people who kick puppies." We've had talks in calmer times about how the word "hate" is extreme and should be reserved for extreme situations. And how hyperbole diminishes their cred. Not the conversation for an angry moment -- I think it came up when they said something like, "I hate these shoes."   Most of the time when mine get to this point, I am diffused by seeing the resemblance that their adolescent "angry face"...
For me, it's become a matter of just doing the next "right" thing and redefining what it means to me to be a "good" parent. A "good" parent can have kids with cavities. A "good" parent is a human who has human children, which means that none of us are perfect.   Note that this doesn't mean just taking an "it's all good" attitude and doing whatever. Although sometimes, that is the next "right" thing to do...  
I would meditate, visualize an HR person opening the envelope, reading your application, noticing the screen shots, thinking "Huh, wonder why she included these?" then setting them aside. You can add that s/he moves the application to the "further review" pile if you'd like. Then I would move on to the next pile of jobs for which I wanted to apply.   I know that feeling like a physical impact of "I screwed up. I suck. I'm never going to get anywhere. I feel so...
to me, it means that no matter how perfect a solution I have to someone else's situation, it's not my job to fix it and it's not my place to be offended if they don't follow my brilliant plan for them   People get to make their own decisions and make their own mistakes.
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