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Posts by sparklefairy

All the way up. Dress like your attorney.   At the very least, conservative business casual. No cleavage, no distracting jewelry, no teetering heels, no short skirts.   It's kind of like an important job interview -- show respect toward the court, and keep the focus on you and what you have to say rather than on what you're wearing.  
You are not wrong to want a man who will be involved with your whole family.   This one is telling you very clearly that he is not that man.
In general, I agree with your lawyer. Being financially stable without maintenance and child support should be every single parents' goal.   In this case, I can't see how doing a job with no potential for financial independence now or in the future is going to get you to a place where you are not reliant on your ex or on someone else. If you can't afford the house on what he's able to pay, you're certainly not going to be able to afford it if he suddenly stops...
Good reason to say no: debt he takes on before the divorce is final is also your debt, whether you sign for it or not, depending upon your location and the laws there.  
I've found that the people who were most harsh about divorce were the ones who were divorced within the next 5 years. I think it was a fear thing.  
Still angry with ex and talking about it on a first date is a deal-breaker for me. As is bitching about paying child support.   True there are some situations in which anger is not unreasonable. And those are not situations in which I wish to become enmeshed.   It sounds like you are seeing a lot of red flags.
 
I wholeheartedly believe in taking time to realize who you are as a newly single person. I did; probably should have taken more time, even.   I'm in this place myself -- too much transition to feel ready to begin a new relationship. I may take things too seriously. but I think it's unfair to date when I have no intention of following through with anything.
I agree. And binge drinking is one way that alcoholism can show up.
That makes sense. It is sad if he doesn't give two figs for his children.   And I agree that saying things that you don't believe are true is probably not a good idea.   I wish I had realized the enormity of what bringing children into this world with another person would mean for all of us. I really didn't get that. But then I also thought that becoming a parent would change both of us in predictable ways...   In retrospect, all of those things you say have probably...
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