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Posts by cottonwood

Quote: Originally Posted by gabbyraja But, my son is turning 8 and is struggling to read. My daughter is 6 and barely recognizes letters. I'm failing them in reading and don't know an unschooling way to teach them. So, you believe it is important and normal for them to be reading at those ages. What do you base this belief on? What is the evidence? When my eldest was six we went to his cousin's house for a family gathering, and on the...
You are absolutely not neglectful. Not pushing him to do things he is not ready for and not interested is responsible and appropriate. Ask yourself what it actually means that "most kids are a grade ahead of national standards," how that was determined and how they got there. In fact, it means absolutely nothing to their future success in terms of preparation and skill; the usefulness of being able to read a so-called third grade book in second grade is solely one of...
Quote: Originally Posted by mammal_mama Gosh, I know my relationship with my extended family is waaay more complex than that. I love them but I have definite trust issues with them -- which of course means I have a low opinion of them in some areas. Yet I love them ... I think you misunderstood? Read it again in context of what I wrote next -- "I'm not saying that's the actual situation, but that it probably feels that way to her."
I think the most important thing is to be really careful not be arbitrary or unfair about demands, not even a little bit, so that when it really *is* important for them to just do what you say they have enough trust in you to take it seriously. Have you read anything yet about consensual living or radical unschooling? Are you on any of the e-lists that discuss such things? I know that there would be lots of insights and suggestions that would be helpful to you.
Obviously I can only speak to my own experience which includes specific personalities and spacing, but I love it. It was hard for me going from 0 to 1, less hard from 1 to 2, VERY hard from 2 to 3 (although granted at that point I had three under five years old,) and lovely going from 3 to 4. When my last was born my oldest was going on 8 and really a lot of help. I'd also relaxed into parenting (becoming progressively more AP) and life in general, and as well our...
Quote: Originally Posted by BabyMae09 I just can't get anything done. Oh my gosh, you are getting SO much done! It's all in the way you look at it. Babies are seriously full-time work (if you do it right,) it's just the nature of the thing. The sad thing is that this is the sort of society this is, that moms of young babies have so many other responsibilities and there is so little basic support. By the way, I have a ring sling you can...
I had three land births and a water birth. I don't remember with my first because it was such a traumatic birth, I was so out of it, and he was taken from me. I don't remember any crying at all with my second, my waterbirth baby. One of my UCs, the baby cried out upon arrival but quieted very quickly. My other UC the baby made some mewing type noises, but not what I'd classify as "crying". In general, the gentler the birth, the less of a shock of the environment the baby's...
I'm betting what she's really upset about is what she thinks is implied by your not sharing the truth with her from the start -- that you feel she's untrustworthy and a threat. That's a pretty heavy blow to learn that a loved one feels that way about you, so the lie isn't just a simple lie of omission or white lie, it's a lie about your own whole relationship since you've been behaving as if you love her while really having this low opinion of her. I'm not saying that's...
Congratulations.
Well, I'd start by not having this expectation that you're supposed to be constantly doing things with them. I firmly believe that what children need most from their mothers is simply mothering -- being mentally present and attentive when they address us, lots of love and hugs, treating owies, that sort of thing. I don't believe it's important to their development or well-being for me to be constantly trying to entertain them or inspire them or motivate them, and doing so...
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