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Posts by lauren

 Yes! As long as we're respectful. Incidentally-- my child that needed exceptionally clear limits and rules, and whose temperament was very oppositional, and who challenged us in the most unimaginable ways possible, causing our parenting to stretch in ways that we never anticipated--- he turned 19 today!! And he is the sweetest loving dude I have ever met. He is polite and respectful and kind, and he just ran out the door shouting 'love you mom." And we used consequences...
Also when thinking of attending to her positive behaviors, think about times you see her asking nicely, not being rude, playing well with her sister, using gentle hands and words. So not just the big stuff, like helping with chores, but the teeny little things, like when she asks for something and you aren't able to give it to her and she handles it alright without blowing a gasket!!
Have you tried really noticing and attending to all her positive behaviors and all the times she handles things without melting down? Sometimes we forget to notice these things. What we attend to will increase. What we discourage will decrease.  Discouraging sometimes means turning away, ignoring, which is still gentle.   Limits are not anti-gentle. Limits communicate that the grown ups are keeping everyone safe and they are strong and in charge. We sometimes reason too...
That does seem totally doable. Feel free to keep posting on this forum for support!!!!
So a little twist--- I think some children come into the world already hardwired to be more oppositional. It could be genetic, in that one parent already has this trait. Could be neurological, as with some kids that have legitimate ADHD and make negative choices before thinking it through.   I used to think as KSLaura said that " Controlling children is not necessary if there is a healthy, attached parent/child relationship with realistic expectations on each side....
Moving again to Waldorf subforum. Sorry for all the moving!
It could just be where I live but hardly anyone I know stays home full time. Those that do are more the exception than the rule. I am so curious why women are un-accepting of one another's choices. It has been perplexing to me for the 20 years that I have been a mom. I have a hard time seeing it for anything other than immaturity and jealousy of another's situation, and I say that objectively after many years of pondering. Women feel threatened. If you are working, they...
I have not done this. Either that or I'm not sure what you mean!
How old is your baby? Just wondering as going back to work is harder/easier at certain stages. You will have to work until June and then have off again, then start back in the fall? That seems ideal as you'll 'get your feet wet,' have a break and then know what you're dealing with when you start up again!
I have only ever used home providers and have had exceptionally good experiences! Multi age is great in most situations as long as the provider is willing to address things that are problematic. For example if the older kids use bad language, the provider does need to address it. For the most part hte younger ' kids strive to do more things to 'keep up' with the big kids!   We have had very loving moms that have cared for our kids. They both started out doing home care...
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