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Posts by tea olive

wow, it's been years for this thread. i can say now that i no longer have that rage as i did before. i get angry now, but i process it better. alot is having to deal with myself. i am highly self-critical and constantly assessing things quickly. kids don't really need that. the upside is that these traits are why humans survive, these abilities. however, modern life doesn't need it so much in a general sense. i've also worked really hard to take care of...
you are very welcome!!!!!!! - i guess it took a huge post for me to express what i could. remember that anger and appropriateness are very different things. anger is a fire and energy that we can use to make hard changes or to help discover how we might feel better. i have to believe that it is a built in system that is supposed to work well and i have just have a giant learning curve. for so long i battled with aiming to be soft warm peaceful mamma at all times and it...
for me, i have had to decide to let go of the controlling thing. yes, that means i rage, yes, my kids rage. in the past few years, it has significantly dwindled. sure, there are times i can perfectly observe how badly i am doing as i behave badly and i still continue. sure, i have worked very hard to limit the kinds of words i say and particular behaviours. sure, i still work constantly on controls i can manage depending on my energy and observing my...
hugs to each and every one of you
the trick is to accept what happenned and change how you react. i always rationalize that we are good mammas if they feel comfortable enough to express their feelings. many children are in emotional spaces where they have to block and hide their anger and that ain't no better. i have found though that just trying to not yell does not work for me. i do yell much less and in apprpriate momemts, but i do have to love that part of me that is real and heart felt, even tho...
here's where to sign up for the grooves - go to archives to take a peek. http://www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove
hey there. first off, you have a little one and i have found my kids to be my best teachers in growing up. anger does happen. it is part of being real. how we learn to use our anger positively is a life lesson. the first thing i suggest is forgive yourself. you are not soley responsibly for the adult he will become. you are not the sole provider of the shape of his personality. forgive yourself, and work on getting rest and getting out so you are not isolated and...
i like scott noelle's daily groove, a free daily email. here's the archives. http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove
my experience, which may apply to you, is usually that the mamma needs to feel comfortable and like with what she is going to use. there is going to be a period of adjustment, since he is not used to them from birth. and it will help if you keep moving, the more up and down and back and forth the better, when he is in whatever carrier you choose. i know that when i first started, my son was about that age, and i had to simply stick to it and feel confident it would...
relationships take work and both parties are always both involved. even if someone feels attacked (with these kinds of issues) they are also reacting with less grace than possible. this is from someone who has reacted all sorts of ways. i've been with my dh for almost 14 years and it has been great, hard, terrible, peaceful, and now amazing. we have really grown together. having a partner can help create balance for some people. it is common for the mammas to be more...
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